Designer: manikka
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I'd to wake up earlier today even though I didn't exactly have a good night's sleep (kept tossing and turning). It must be due to the fact that I've been sleeping till early afternoon over the weekends. I don't know why I've been tired these few days. Mmmmmm.

So anyways, got a lift from dad to school. Met Julie to give her birthday present =)

Went for FOI lecture. JM came up to me just before the lecture started, and yah, whatever will be, will be. Straight after that was the Business Writing test. I didn't exactly know what to write so I just came up with the best I could within 1/2 hour. And I don't know if getting chosen to be the interviewee is a good thing. Imagine having to stress over the weekends thinking what questions they'd ask. On the other hand, the interviewers would have to hand in a report the next day. So I guess I would have to prefer the former?

Had lunch with Sam & YL. Bitches =X

Just a freakin' 20 mins for lunch, where we then had to a 3hour lesson for Comm Skills. OMG. I still can't believe me + the rest of the class could actually sit through that dull lesson for that long. The mock interviews in the last hour was funny, especially the very first one, courtesy of Mr.Brown. Speakin' of which, I think I've gotten used to getting mocked by the guys (if that's the appropriate word). Just have to take things lightly. If you can't beat them, join them. HAH.

Anyways, after that LONG lesson was CMA tutorial. The tutor apparently agreed to release the class like 45 mins earlier since the tutorial work was kinda short but noooooooooo. He had to stretch till 10 mins before 6. And it seems I've to skip FOI make-up tutorial. Crap.

An hour long World Issues lecture, which began with a Michael Jackson song -_-'' (though it was kinda appropriate for the subject to be discussed later on) And there was this commercial bout' the 3R's and there was this famous person in it. Omg. She was being sucha bitch while 'educating' us bout the importance of it. Geez.

Dad picked me up from school and we went home.

Watched some televsion before I unintentionally slept on the couch =\ Today's episode of "Wanna Come In?" was hysterical that I found myself laughing alone in front of the TV. And they actually got into their dates' homes. Kudos.

I've been stuck at FOI tutorial for 3 hours before I gave up. At least I got half done.

And that's how a 9-7 school day with merely an hour break turned out. Please no more such days........

I'm so looking forward to Friday late afternoon. Just need somethin' to get away from everythin' and anythin' that reminds me of school.

I didn't have to go to school today, but eventually I had to cos LG uncovered some errors in my financial documents. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Nevertheless, went over to school and yeah, had an hour's talk with her and her colleague. I didn't know race and religion would not be such a sensitive topic to talk bout'. Well, at least it gives me a kinda altered perspective of viewing things.

So I, stupidly, forgot to bring a book which I essentially needed to clear the documents, so I made my way home. I bumped into Penny on the way, so I made her tag along. Hehe. Oooo, and she mentioned the thingy I'd been (apparently) been talking bout. It this bracelet, yet it's linked to a ring. I finally found out what it's called; a slave bracelet. Okay, the name itself sounds degrading, but I think it's cool ok.


I kinda saw a few at XCraft at TM, and at RastaMania's at PS. Maybe it's bout' time i visited these outlets again. Worse comes to worse, I'll get it online. HAH.

Anyways, I packed my lunch to school. I'd intended to study in the Club Room, but the CSC was makin' so much noise that I gave up and went back home, where I just plonked onto bed. I don't think I've doing anythin' constructive today, so I hope I'll get some work done (technically) today.

Ooooo, I'm considering taking up calligraphy. Hehe.

I had tutorial at 9 and I only woke up at 8:30. Thank God, school's like damn near. I heard from Brown that his cab fare amounts to $10 each time he's late, and if you what kind of schedule he has, he's probably going broke. Hah.

Ooooo, while me and Brown were waiting for CDS tutorial, Zoe was playing this game in the computer lab; Isketch. It's damn cool I tell you. It's like 'Pictionary' but you play it worldwide.

World Issues tutorial this week was boring.

Club stuff till 6-ish. Luckily Samantha was there to talk things through with me.

Met Xian. The chicken cutlet really tasted different. Thou shalt refrain from that for some time. Have never actually walked to the area leading to Bedok Reservoir, that was until just now. I didn't know it could be quite refreshing.

Watched Supernatural and took an hour and a half nap. Have been taking such naps these past few days, yet it kinda energizes me for the rest of the night.

Monday is always the day I least look forward. Cos for one, it IS the start of the school week a.k.a. Monday blues and two, it is a full day in school. I've been stressing bout work. I even made a list of what's there to complete by the end of the week. In so much desperation for a list.

Have you ever had the fear of losing someone even though there's no apparent reason for it?

And I finally watched Episode 8 of 'Heroes'.

At the end of the day, there are 2 things that never fail to liven up my spirits; alternative music and friends.

"Ahzeemahder Bin Banana Glah".

Like, thanks?

=\

God, I feel so much better compared to the last 2 days. Fever + Cough + Sore Throat + Flu. I think this is the worst I've been since a looooooong time ago. An underlying factor to why I'd been this bad is probably cos my mum wasn't here to nag at me to take my medicine, get my ass out of bed, and of course cook healthy food. I've been eating fast food and instant noodles, which a sick person isn't suppose to eat in the first place. But hey, my parents came back in the afternoon and I'm feeling so much better. I don't know what it is but I'm glad they're back (though the silence for the 2 days wasn't that bad).

So 2 days on the couch, sleeping and doin' absolutely no work makes me feel agitated. Maybe it was about time I got the rest. At least I got to watch like 4 episodes of 'Heroes'. The show ain't that bad (but it still doesn't make sense to me).

My eyes are like so barely open right now, I don't know if it's due to the fact that I'm physically drained, or that I'm just sick. The sore throat. I didn't know it could be this bad.

I woke up in the afternoon. People shouldn't sms in the morning unless it's absolutely necessary. So I made my way to Harbourfront after some nagging from my mum to take some medicine before I went out. 2 things grabbed my attention on my way there.

Numero Uno:

I'm not exactly sure if they can be classified under the 'Mats & Minahs' category but they seemed to be going for some picnic or somethin'. The way they presented themselves in public (especially one of the girls who seemed to believe that the train belonged to her), in my mind I'm like "Do I really belong to the same ethnic group as them?". Sometimes I worry for the society, and I wonder what will become of them 10 years down the road. The way they are behaving now, it's as if they don't give a bollocks on what lies ahead of them. I think they were overrating the phrase,"Live each day as it comes".

Numero Deux:

Whilst waiting for the train to Harbourfront Station, there was this young couple. The girl was probably 14, while the guy was a few years older. The guy looks like the typical 'looks nerdy but trying to act cool' kinda guy. His oval spectacles. His dyed styled up hair. His polo tee+baggy jeans+sneakers. Ear piece in one ear. You'd think he'd be a decent guy when he's with his girlfriend. But no. He was running his hand along his girl's body. Not once. Not twice. But NUMEROUS times. In my mind I was like, "For goodness sake, go get a room. Geez". I guess he was sexually deprived or as I would like to call it 'geram'.

Public displays of affection. It's fine as long as the couple knows that there ARE other people around them, and they don't overdo it. Even during group outings when there is a couple in it, one should refrain from P.D.A. It's like, "Look, we know you are a couple but you don't have to offer us free 'porn' just cause we're you're friends".

"Love at first sight" to me doesn't exist.

So anyways, I was like an hour late. Me and Neh first had lunch at Yoshinoya's (as usual). Seriously, WHY IS THERE NO SINGLE KFC's IN THE WHOLE DAMN MALL?! Okay, I apologize for that, but yeah, someone please answer me. Have I ever mentioned before that VivoCity isn't exactly sucha great place to shop at. Slack around, eating at the variety of dining areas. Yes. But shopping? I'll think twice.

Oh yah, CANDY EMPIRE. Seriously lotsa minty chocolates. I was actually supposed to stop her from buying any but eventully we took some home =X And did you know there's Mint M&Ms? And at chocolate factory there's Chocolate Mint Jam. OMG. But at a kinda steep price for somethin' you'd finish in less than 3 days. From then on, everythin' green was mint to us =
Ooooo, and there was this kinda book fair on board a ship which is pretty cool. But it was kinda warm inside. I think people were streaming in just for the sake of entering a huge ship. Hah.

We headed home by taking the MRT from Harbourfront to Hougang, and then taking a bus service 27 to Tampines, just cause we were both too lazy to get our asses of after just one stop.

So that's how my day went.

My parents are leaving for Malaysia on Friday morning, which leaves me on my own at home until Sunday afternoon. Why did I not follow? For one thing, I won't wanna be caught in the middle of my parents' bickering, and two, I'm kinda behind my work. I haven't even had time to watch the new episodes of 'Supernatural' and 'Prison Break'. Great, just great.

It just turned Thursday today, yet quite some things have happened since I last wrote.

Wait, I just remembered I learnt a new word like a few days back; Alpha man. In layman's terms, it's simply a manly man. Don't ask me what a manly man is. Lols.

And I'm kinda hooked to Paris Hilton's "Nothing In This World". Yes, she's bimbotic and all that, but I can't seem to get the song outta my head.

So anyways, later on the night of Monday, I received quite an interesting e-mail. An e-mail from HIM to be precise (no prizes for guessing who 'HIM' is). It's a long story, but in short, it's the first time a guy has ever confessed that he had(has) feelings for me. All along I thought I was the one leading him on, but in fact he thought HE was the one leading me on. That's why it's always good to wait for the other party to talk. Hah. So yah, I actually told him I didn't have any feelings for him (don't laugh ok). FYI, the e-mail wasn't written for this topic.

Bla Bla. I think I actually saw him outside the library the next day, but I just made my way to my intended destination. Oh yah, I spilled 3 cups of Soya Bean Milk at the Design Canteen during lunch =
Had a meeting with the DD on Wednesday afternoon. Kinda inspirational for an hour talk. Mmmm. Got ready for 'Gemilang'. So we were supposed to go through a technical run with the Drama peeps but they didn't turn up, so I guess we did our own thing? I just hope none of the pics nor video gets posted online or somethin'.

I missed Project Runway. Geez. But I'd fun fooling around and getting to know the rest of the people from the other sub-groups better. So yeah, missing one episode won't kill me I guess.

Ooooo, my dad's friends from the mosque were coming over to our house for lunch or somethin, and my mum was like telling me,"If you're gonna wear that, you'd better leave before they come. If not, you'll give your dad a bad impression".

I was wearing a denim skirt.

In my mind I was like,"Please let me not get hitched to a true blue M____".

Even my mum is feeling the pressure.

I'm just tired, putting up a fake front.

I'm like supposed to be this jovial person every day, even when I'm not in the best of moods. And when I'm not in a good mood, the slightest things piss me off even more.

"If you want somethin' to be done well, do it yourself".

And when I make it obvious to you that I don't want to talk bout somethin', don't go around forcing it out of me. It can get irritating to the point that I won't mind slitting your throat.

"Wake up, stupid. It's really nothing. OMG".

I feel like a hypocrite to myself.

"Oooooo, isn't it surprising that I am a Malay? How long have you actually lived in Singapore to not know that there are such things as inter-racial marriages?"

It's one thing to get attention, but when you've been hearing it for like forever, it's like I should get a tattoo on my forehead stating what's my ethnicity.

Random thoughts and sayings. I'm not depressed, I'm just pissed when people are so narrow-minded.

2008. Please let it be a reality.

I don't even know how to begin typing this entry.

I mean it's like everythin' was going well, the visiting and all, then suddenly...

*pauses for 15 minutes*

Fuck, just grab me a chilled Martini.

You know you're tired when you take an hour nap in the middle of the evening.

It's kinda draining to be in school from 9-6, and rather 'slacky' when you don't have to go to school for 2 days of the week. Oh well.

Had lunch with the bunch of guys at KFC's. I really need to brush up on the more 'chim' Mandarin. It is such a disadvantage. HAH.

Bla bla bla. Nap-ped.

Met FX at 9 to pass him some cash and talked for some time.

I realise I've been spending much time at the void deck on the phone. It suddenly just became a habit of mine.

Thou shalt not lead anyone on.

And is there really such a thing as best friends between a guy and a girl? Suddenly I'm beginning to question such an existence just cause' someone brought it up and thought it was utter nonsense. Lols. Eh, Socks?

As the International Finance lecturer/tutor says, "There's no such thing as the best".

Sorry for the emotional wreck I seemed to be in the previous entry.

I'm feelin' a lil' better now. Not that too stressed up with stuff. My mind is kinda at ease.

I woke up in the afternoon today. My mum had wanted to go to VivoCity, but it was kinda late for that so I think it's being put off till next week.

Instead, we went to CDC to book my practical lessons. Yup, I'm back to taking lessons at CDC instead of taking private lessons. I don't know why my mum insists on me taking school lessons when it's more expensive. Oh well. At least I'll get my license at a quicker rate. Hopefully.

That's bout it for the day actually. I'm looking forward to the December break even though school just started like 3 weeks ago.

Lemme see.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Mmmmm, you, yah you. Fuck you.

Oh yah, fuck you as well =)

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Yesterday was sucha busy day. Lessons from 9-4, followed by settling the club's finances till 7+ Nadi meeting till 8+

Walked Asy home, joked around. But behind it all is misery on my part. My issues.

Called FX out, finally talking to someone emotionally available and understands me. I've nothin to explain to him cos he just gets it.

2 people on bad terms. I can't even comprehend what the issue was in the first place. Sometimes I wonder what your friendship was based on. It's dumb okay. Sucha small thing blown up into larger proportions. I don't even know what to say. I don't even know why I'm bothered bout' it. Maybe I should have stayed away from the very start. Seriously.

I'd to 'shoo' FX away cos I got a call from my cousin. Had to talk bout stuff.

After I was done with her, I'd to another consultation.

My brother was outside too. So I talked to him for a while as well.

By the time I reached home it was 12+ Luckily I don't have school today. If not, I'll be a walking zombie in school.

I don't even know what to do with buses. Literally.

I know you care. I hope you know I care. So I'm gonna do both of us a favour by just cutting you away from my 'film'. For now.

"Love makes one do the darndest things" - Winter of 2004

Fond memories they were. Kinda immature too. Lols.

During these past few weeks, it seems to me that love is all around. People getting hitched. People in the process of getting hitched.

Then there's the downside of people breaking up, nursing a broken heart.

Stayin' single ain't that bad after all, but of course it's always good to have that feeling that someone is concerned for your welfare.

I'm still confused, despite me and him talking bout "it". "It"? I don't even know how to define "it".

It's somehow like, he knows how the situation will vaguely be. Me going for further studies. Nuff' said. I don't wanna have any kind of emotional attachment to a guy. It'd be heartbreaking for the both of us.

This may sound really bad but I kinda wish that things won't work out between us eventually, in the love department at least. Don't get me wrong. He's a nice guy and we kinda have the same frequency but we're just different.

In lifestyle perhaps.

And a few other stuff.

Met Muni at 11 to return her psychology textbook (and no, it's not my new CDS). She was quite happy that she'd a new handphone that she had to show it off to me. Lols!

So off to school to settle administrative and financial stuff before heading out to meet Julie to pass her the hard drive. I just hope i get it back in its original condition. Heh. Plus I got a bump on my head when knocking into the noticeboard (don't ask).

Anyways, while she went off to scour for a computer lab, I went off to meet Ahmad. Initially he'd promised to treat me to a Starbucks drink cos' of a favour I did for him, but I kinda coaxed him into having lunch at Pizza Hut. 2 lunch sets, 8 pieces of drumlets and a Hawaiian personal pan pizza later, we headed off to VivoCity. Oh, and it was his first time travelling along the NEL so kinda 'sua ku' on his part. Heh.

We decided to catch a movie at the new cinema so after much discussion, we decided to watch 'The Prestige' since there weren't any comedies availabe (kinda pathetic). The theatre's kinda small and comfy. Couple seats all round and it was freezing cold. And sharing a tub of ice cream isn't exactly the smartest thing to do. Haha.

Walked around VivoCity, accidentally ending up at HarbourFront Mall. Besides the size and the availability of some outlets not available else where in SG, we both declared that VivoCity isn't much of a difference compared to the other shopping malls =
We walked to my home and chatted for a while at the void deck before he took a cab home.

It was a tiring day that I took a nap on the couch before I woke up to watch Project Runway. Needless to say, it was an interesting day =)

I don't exactly know what I'm doing. It has been talked bout, but action speaks louder than words. I don't wanna give up what I've been after all this while.

FOI tutorial in the morning was fine, where a bunch of us crashed the Int.Finance lecture which is actually allocated for BSG students. I don't think they expected quite a large turnout in the LT (all thanks to A&F students). Nevertheless, don't think the bunch of us will stop attending BSG's timeslot since the reason we're crashing in the first place is that so we need not attend school on Wednesday.

Had lunch at the Design Canteen. Okay, not exactly. We got out food from there but ate out at the benches outside the LT. So the 5 of us (Me, Brown, Jas, Loretta and Zoe) had this interesting talk on considerably taboo subjects, which would be sex and alcohol. Jas was like oblivious to everythin' we were talking bout'. I wonder if we're doin' her good by 'educating' her. Lols.

Anyways after lunch, me and Brown went off for our World Issues tutorial (we're in the same tutorial class). Our tutor's Mr.Jerome, which I still don't know if it's a good or bad thing cos it kinda seems that he does have pretty high standards bout class participation and stuff. So like normal first CDS tutorials, we had to do this ice breaker. As I walked to the front, Brown was talking to this guy. Upon closer look, he looked kinda familliar, so..

Me: Eh? Aren't you Andre?
Him: Yeah. How did you know?
Me: You're Ching Lam's boyfriend right?
Him: Yeah, how do you know her?
Me: I'm her friend. We used to be classmates in secondary school.

That's how the conversation kinda went. It's kinda surreal, to me at least, cos it's like I've seen him in pictures but have never seen him in flesh, you know that kinda thing. And apparently, Chingx already knows that I'm his new classmate. Haha.

I'd 3 hours before the SC meeting started, so I kinda occupied myself with admin work and a 1.5 hour phone conversation.

*skipping details of meeting*

The meeting only ended at 8. Upon climbing down the stairs, I bumped into Ahmad & Haikal. They'd just finished their jog around Bedok Reservoir (they'd earlier asked me if I was available for badminton, which I was obviously not dressed up for). Walked with them out of school. The SC gang was at the bridge when we were on our way there. It was like so wrong cos it seemed as though I'd 2 bodyguards on each flank, and JM and Shafi had to exclaim such questions. My 'water face' literally dropped there and then.

I took an hour's nap cos I was really tired. Woke up to read through FOI and contribute to the online Comm Skills thingy. Less subjects, yet I find myself busy, probably busier than last semester.