Rejuvenate

2007-12-18T00:34:00.000-08:00

Approximately another month has passed since I last blogged.

I really am ready for bed now, but I'll just blog a bit.

So since internship has ended, I have relatively more time for 'me' time and hanging out with friends (though not that successful due to time constraint).

I don't really have much to say.. Or is it that I have so much to say I don't really know where to start?

I'll steal a line of Sarah's : I love my friends!

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder".....NAH (to me anyways)

Because it's those who make good out of the bad
Because it's those who listen
Because it's those who make you laugh
Because it's those with whom you can be silly with
Because it's those who push you on in times of bleak

=)

2007-11-24T03:20:00.000-08:00

Helllloooooo!

It has been exactly a month since I last blogged. Obviously I've been busy with work and spending my weekends to the fullest. One more week left till the internship ends. I'm not really looking forward to school. I prefer the environment at work. You work, you get appreciation from clients, rantings and teasings from colleagues. Despite having no social life, I find myself laughing everyday at work, either at myself or the people there. I wouldn't say I feel like one of them cos' to me, I've set this barrier. I don't know how to describe it, but I just like to feel like the 'baby' of the team, and their expectations are not that high (not exactly anyways). They've asked me if to work there after my graduation, but at the end of the day, it's up to the AVP.

I just can't wait for Friday, not cos' internship's ending but, well... We'll see if I even make it.

I won't exactly say I'm good buddies with all of them. Technically it has only been a slightly over a month since I got to know them since I've been sitting apart from them for the first few weeks. But I've been getting sarcastic remarks and laughter from them. It just feels good to actually feel at least you're not THAT apart from them.

The beginning of the ending .

2007-10-24T03:22:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the somewhat emo post below.

The weekends which just passed was time well spent. Went to Sarah's for Open House, and saw familiar faces. As usual, Faisal was teasing me (I'll always be a blonde in his eyes. HAHA) Met Jhon after a gazillion years not seeing him.

To town. To Mt Faber. The waiter was 'lame-ly' funny.

After which me and Bolzie went to drive-thru at ECP. It was 4 in the morning when I reached home.

The very next day, went to get some groceries with Mum. She'd had initially grounded me from using the car since I got home quite late the previous day. But hey, I still managed to get the car. I can't really imagine the weekends without getting around with a car =\

So, with Bolzie (again), we VIVO-ed. I swear I hadn't heard of River Island till I saw the boutique. Blame me for the ignorance. If memory serves me correctly, we went to Siglap's Starbucks after that. Reached home at around 1+ Even so, I only headed to bed at around 3+ I still had the energy to watch episodes from 'Big Shots' and 'Supernatural'.

Work has been hectic. It has been since the week before with me sitting alongside my other colleagues. Previously I was sitting in a department I wasn't even doing work for. So yeah, I've been learning like really A LOT. Today, I actually left the office only at half past 1, the latest ever, and I didn't go out for dinner. Instead I had a sandwich that my mum had packed for me and ate with 2 colleagues, which was kinda funny. And what I also find funny is when my colleagues can spurt out vulgarities at e-mails. Heh. And even, 'sing' to the tune of the person on the other line. I'm busy, yet I'm kept somewhat entertained. The next time I step into the office, I'll be switching desks, hopefully not too far away from my colleagues.

Nevertheless, I still remember the social life I ONCE had. It's gonna be for another month.

I have so much to say but can't say them out till the weekends. By then, I'd already have forgotten them all, my thoughts.

Julie: I know it's somewhat stupid, but I can please say again how I enjoyed/appreciated the phone call on Sunday afternoon, though I'd just woke up, though probably half the time I was talking to you in the toilet, and though I was acting like a baby.

Sam: I HAVE THINGS TO TELL YOU ABOUT 'SHORT FART'. I THINK YOU ARE GOING TO HATE ME A LITTLE. HAHA. AND REMEMBER THAT I HAVE TO GET MY JEANS ALTERED. THANKS.

Rad: I know you've been having problems, but have never had the time to sit down with you and talk about it. I'm so so sorry. It's people like me that make you, oh well, you should know yeah? But again, I'm really sorry. We'll meet soon ok?

Monisha: I think you asked me for 'kuih'. But frankly, this year my house has no 'kuih'. HAHA. And yes, I still owe you prata. So long overdued please. December ok?

2007-10-17T02:30:00.000-07:00

Hi All (or more appropriately, "Hi Me")

It's 2 in the morning, when I'm supposed to be sleeping like regular people. But no, I'm still wide awake, with no one to talk to.

This post should be about Hari Raya, but no, I'm not going to talk about it, just because for one, I'm not the celebratory kind. Call me a wet blanket, but hey, everyone has the right to their own issues.

This post could be about my love life, but no. Yet again I'm not going to talk about it, just because for one, it still kinda pisses me off. Secondly, I don't care.

This post would include some of my pet peeves as can be read by the following:

1) When they said some things were never meant to be said, those people really meant it. Like SERIOUSLY, do you REALLY have to tell the whole world? We are glad you like to entertain us with the 'juice', but SERIOUSLY, does EVERYONE have to know?

2) For example, could you imagine the pope practicing Witchcraft? Okay, that was a little TOO far-fetched. Ok. Carrie Underwood eating beef. That's more like it.

3) Paranoid people.

I am so in the "I-want-to-find-fault-with-each-one-even-if-there-is-none" mood.

So before I offend anyone else, somewhat kind words from me:

You may not be who you think you are to me.

2007-10-01T02:50:00.000-07:00

I've some things on my mind.

I just finished watching ( in running order) Prison Break S3, Heroes S2, Bones S3, Private Practice S1, Ugly Betty S2, Grey's Anatomy S4 and CSI:LV S8. A tad too many shows for my own good for the night. But hey, I've been deprived of them for the last couple of months. And I must say I was impressed by Private Practice. I thought it was gonna be some failed project spin-0ff, but I managed to cry on the very FIRST episode, and we all know what this means. It is a GOOD show. Ugly Betty is still good, though there are some incidents that when you think about it, is so 'Soap Opera De La Esponial'. Nevertheless, yes, I cried on the comeback episode. Maybe it's the sleep deprivation.

Internship is fine. I'm doing more stuff though compared to the rest, I'm kind of slack (but not as slack as Sharon. HAHA) And I feel a little bit more in place. Taxi claims are a b*tch.

Relationships. Okay, maybe I don't want to talk to them. (Actually I forgot what I'd wanted to say bout' them)

Understanding oneself. I guess no one else can understand yourself other than you, yourself (and maybe your mother). To others, it may be an absurd idea, but to me it's just another phase I want to go through.

The past. Does the past matter? I thought it didn't matter. Till..

Sarah: Give me your hand.
Me: Why?
Sarah: Just give it to me.
(pinches my inner arm)
Me: Ouch! Why did you do that for?
Sarah: Why do you want to know? It's in the past what.

I rest my case. And I swear there's still a bruise.

I guess the truth behind the past, it sets you free. No more wondering. No more doubts. No more questions. No more uncertainty.

For the better or the worse, the past is here to stay.

2007-09-22T11:10:00.000-07:00

So, upon Monisha's request, I've decided to blog.

Let's see, obviously the hot topic would be the internship.

So just a quick summary.

I've been working London hours. When we fellow interns are bored, we e-mail each other through our corporate e-mail addresses. Sometimes we make appointments to meet at the pantry. I've attended 3 meetings within 1 week.

I've been doing call-backs for confirmation of payments to countries which would include Germany, Holland, Italy, Hong Kong and India. Germans are the hardest to talk to for me. The Dutch are nice. I've also been assigned to do reset advices, which would be providing clients with information of interest amounts receivable/payable at a value date. The satisfaction I get is from getting an acknowledgment e-mail from the client and being able to bring across information to overseas clients.

The department I'm working in is experiencing unusually high volumes of cashflow, thus everyone seems to be busy. I don't even know to whom I'm supposed to report to i.e. manager and with that will never know who is going to fill in the performance appraisal form. Colleagues are helpful and nice. I ask questions and they're willing to explain processes to me and provide for me notes on applications.

Speaking of applications, I haven't been given the green light to access some applications thus, I'm unable to reduce the department's workload as of yet. I think once I get all the required applications, I'll be helping out much. Currently, one of the colleagues is training me to reconcile amounts in the LCH (London Clearing House). She'll sit with me for a week or so until she's confident I can do it on my own BUT, I don't have the application on my computer.

Oh yes, I've my own desk cos' apparently the guy who was previously at my place has been transferred to another department. My desk is situated by the window, sandwiched between 2 British women. You'd say a window view is cool, but it's facing a construction site for a condominium and the IR (I think).

Everyday we fellow interns travel up to the 24th floor and blow our ears out to get rid of the 'whatever-it-is-you-call-it'. We take 1 hour dinner breaks. There's a microwave oven, a fridge, a coffee maker, hot/cold water dispenser, and packets of tea (Lipton or Green). Milo, Coffeemate and sugar powders are contained in jars. The toilets are classy (to me at least). Taxi fares are making me broke (though we'll be reimbursed).

Okay, that was a long summary. I hope it has given an overview about my week at CS though.

Throughout the whole working life experience, I've learnt some things.

In school, you're still able to hang out with the many friends you may have. Once you start work, you'll have to balance your time between friends and family over the weekends. With that, you're more likely to have few friends that you keep in contact with on a regular basis. That's what I think and feel anyways.

If you can't get along with the people at the workplace, you're in deep s**t.

To break the ice, always smile.

Bottomline, at the end of this academic life, only few will stick around for the long haul, like those whom you're so sure will 'lepak' with you forever, no matter where we may be in our lives =)

And to end this entry off, the NEW music video from Daughtry, 'Over You'. C'mon, you've gotta love their frontman. Hot stuff ;-)

2007-09-01T03:15:00.000-07:00

And yes, the exams are finally over..Like FINALLY.

Looking back when I thought why in the world did the school have to spread out 4 papers over a span of 2 weeks, I'm fortunate they did that. It gave me time to at least study a day before the paper with Friday & Saturday being my 'emotionally drained' days if you could call it that.

To Julie & Sue: I know I don't have to apologize, but I'm sorry for crying like a lil' baby =\

So let's see.. mmmmm, let's skip the boring exam stuff.

Went to town with Neh & Val after the last paper. All the pent-up need to want to go out after being 'stuck' at home for the last 2 weeks can have effects on one's mind. Like seriously. It was just a nice feeling to go out into the 'world' again. Hur hur hur.

Reached home at a lil' before 7. Did some household chores, switched on the computer. Went to Sarah's blog. I teared. I felt so, so bad. Not that I did anythin' bad. It's just bout' thinking bout' what will be, and what will not be. And with that, I decided to meet her, along with Khairi. My mum called in the midst and this was how the conversation went:

Mum: You told me you wanted to be home by 6. Look at the time now.
Me: Huh? I was at home just now what.
Mum: Since when?
Me: Just now lah. I reached home at around 7 what.
Mum: You don't bluff.
Me: Really! I took down the clothes and hung up the laundry.
Mum: Is it? Where got?
Me: Yah. Remember I asked you bout' the 'Ankh' symbol online and you told me not to get it cos' it signified the vulva & testicular?
Mum: Oh! Now I remember.
Me: You were asleep when I left the house again.
Mum: No wonder lah.

FYI: Yes, me and mum talk to each other online although we're in the same house. Yes, we do rely on technology THAT much.

FYI2: Seriously, don't ask bout' the 'Ankh' symbol thingy.

So anyways, we left the hut at around midnight. Sarah & I headed for MacD's for our supper and stayed there for a lil' over 2 hours.

When bolzie calls me at 2 in the morning, it's fine. When I call her at the same time, she's already asleep. Exhibit A: Now.

And as of now, I've yet to sign my contract with Credit Suisse. I'm excited at the prospects of doing me internship with a reputable company, yet I'm petrified of screwing up. 4PM-1AM. How cool is that. HAH.

2007-08-25T16:40:00.000-07:00

For what it's worth, these last 2 days, especially yesterday, have been tough.

Probably just seeing it right in front of your own eyes,

The emotions, they just come and go,

Not knowing the reason why.

Though most of us were never close to you during the last few years,

Even myself having never seen you for more than the last decade,

The pain, it remains raw.

Your face, looking in serenity,

I know you'll be in a better place.

May the angels look over you.

Rest in peace, Uncle.

2007-08-15T22:40:00.000-07:00

Monday with the 'kambings'.
Went on a high =D

Tuesday with Sarah, FX and Jaspreet.
Never fail to crack me up.

Today with SuLing.
Where did time go?

Late-into-the-morning talks.
'Drunk' by midnight.

I feel truly blessed.

2007-08-10T22:01:00.000-07:00

3rd August, Friday

Got a morning call from Shahid to fill in for Lights for Magus Luna. Honestly, I don't remember much from that day. All I know's that the show went well. I met Sarah after the show cos' I guess we really had to get stuff out of our systems at where else but Mac CC. At that moment, I knew. Funny how it's relatively a long way, yet from time to time, the thoughts just come and go. We sang till 3 in the morning. The other patrons might have thought we were a couple of drunkards. HAH. We bumped into Shafirah there *nudges* Hafiz happened to pass by and for some reason our conversation lasted for at least 10 minutes. All due to the fact that I wasn't convinced he was 2 years younger than us though he had shown his IC and all.

4th August, Saturday

EVPS 6/11 BBQ. Some of us hadn't seen each other for 7 years, so it was kinda bittersweet to see how much some of us had changed appearance-wise. But I can safely say, most of us haven't changed one bit. I'm still amused by Muhadher's silly antics. William is still kinda lame. While the rest walked home from Pasir Ris park back home, I cabbed home with some of the rest simply cos' I was tired and it was already pretty late.

5th August, Sunday

Slept in for the whole day.

6th August, Monday

From this day onwards, I never looked at it the same again =\

7th August, Tuesday

Out with bolzie. Got me thinking on stuff.

8th August, Wednesday

Forgotten.

9th August, Thursday

Set off to JB at around 11. I'm so not driving around there yet. The traffic is terrible. I did some shopping. Retail therapy people call it. So un-patriotic of me to be going across the Causeway despite Singapore's birthday. Tell that to the rest of the hundreds who crossed over.

I find this song, I don't know. It's sucha feel good song to me.

And if you haven't heard Daughtry's 'Over You', you're missing out a hell lot.

In other news, I'm glad my dad's flight out has been postponed till next month. It seems just like yesterday that he was out of the country. Furthermore, I need him to show me the way around the cemetery. Yes yes, it sounds kinda morbid but I'm going to make it a point to 'visit' them before I leave, and the directions I'm not too familiar with, lest I accidentally crash into something I shouldn't =\ Adding to that, I can sort of focus on the exams without having to think if I can send him off and stuff.

Funny how things began, and now it has come to this.

"Fading into beautiful light,
Cause everybody's changing,
And I don't feel the same".

Everything happens for a reason and I should refrain from questioning it. I've come to the point that I'm not thinking too much into stuff. At least I don't want to think, which would probably serve me well in the long-run.

So with me drifting away from some, with me being confident that I've their backs no matter how long we've not met up, and with me forging closer relations, I'm where I wanna be at this point of time.

2007-08-04T03:30:00.000-07:00

With friends like these, they give me a reason to stay.
But they,too, give me a reason to go.

I'm not afraid of how things may be awkward when the time is through;
I'm afraid of how things may be until the time is through.

Sometimes we don't see what people see in us.
And when they bring it across to you,
you wonder, "Am I really meant for that?"

2007-07-30T21:17:00.000-07:00

A collection of teddy bears,
All neatly lined up.

There are those who have withstood the test of time;
They are the vintage ones.
No matter how long you've had them,
You still have this unexplainable affinity with them.

But one day,
One has a lil' mishap;
Your 'Tatty Bear'.

You try to mend it,
But it gets into a worse state,
A worse state as before.

So what do you do?
You put it aside,
At wits end.
You go ahead playing with your other vintage ones,
Your new teddy bears.

Yet, from time to time,
You wonder bout' your 'Tatty Bear'.
Not that the other vintage and new ones aren't as cuddly,
Or not as lovable as it.

You just miss it.

Years pass,
You chance upon your 'Tatty Bear'.
The same old one you put aside,
Still tattered and torn.

You pick it up,
With needle and thread,
And start to mend it.

With each stitch woven in,
You give yourself a smile,
Recollecting the times.

And when you're finally done,
You give it a lil' dust off,
And place it back to where it was.

Initially, you spend more time,
Playing with your newly-mended 'Tatty Bear',
Cos' it'd undoubtedly been loss time.

But you know that without the others,
The other teddy bears,
Playtime would never have been fun.

2007-07-28T01:21:00.000-07:00

Of an enkindle or two later,
of putting pressing matters aside,

I feel liberated, for now at least.

And from now onwards, I should start relishing the lil' significant breaks in life.
Sometimes life gets too hectic that one forgets to take a step back, and just observe from the sidelines.

If only I'd be able to take it into mind.
I'd probably need someone to just smack me when I get too absorbed.

2007-07-22T15:58:00.000-07:00

So this past week has been a whirlwind so to speak.

Emotions all over, from all directions. Changes in priorities.

Tuesday (or technically Wednesday morning) was the truly the 1st time I'd considered to just stay. Having thoughts put into your mind in the middle of the night is not such a good thing, especially when it makes so much sense at that point of time. But, it took me less than 2 days to revert back to my initial decision, which was to go. And yes, I'm cut on going after mum kinda drilled kinda assertive points into me. The one thing my mum is really good at is putting oneself back on track. I don't know how she does it, but at this point of time where I may be at the crossroads, she pulls me back to reality.

So to bolz, for that lengthy talk which wasted all your saliva (though you already waste your saliva on your late night food cravings), I'm sorry =\

My house IS looking like a warehouse with all the stuff being brought out of 'God-knows-where'. Nevertheless, the house finally has a new TV. All 40 inches of LCD. WOOHOO =D

Together with the 'currently being installed' entertainment system, double WOOHOO!

Mum went for an appointment in the morning and brought back for me 3 tops. It's like I don't have to go shopping anymore to get new clothes. But I guess she's doin' more shopping for me cos' she doesn't want me to be indecently dressed when I go. So erms, thanks mum? Heh. I think she's beginning to understand what I WILL wear. You see, for a period of time she didn't dare buy anythin' for me cos' she was scared that I wouldn't wear what she bought for me. But ever since she got it right, as said by her, "Take the risk lah. If I don't buy now, it'd be gone the next time". That was her answer when I asked her why she dared to get for me a $50 top. Heh.

Next on the list: a new pair of black boots.

2007-07-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

Smoking on your cigarettes,
the low tides subtly crashing into the water-break.
Vodka on ice in hand,
you sit poised in your chair
It's the break of dawn.

You see lovers strolling hand in hand,
you see friends goofing around with each other.

But right in front of you,
an empty chair.

It isn't as if you couldn't find companionship.

Truth be told,
you've no lack of friends.

They call to you to share their joy,
they call to you to share their adversities.

You're not lonely,
you just chose to be alone.

When you're alone,
time passes slowly,
but you get to take in every moment,
be it of the past,
or the near future.

Then when it's time to go off,
you put out your last cigarette for the day,
leaving behind smirks and tears.

And be the person you ought to be...

2007-07-05T01:28:00.000-07:00

Sitting on the sands of the beach,
where all is peaceful.

The gentle waves drifting in.
Though subtle, they give a sense or serenity,
when all is lost.
A sense of pleasure when you splash.

The light of the sun glistens on your cheeks.
A sense of warmth.

A perfect day.

But when the high tides come in,
you're overwhelmed by the waters,
so much so they no longer give you,
the sense of contentment.

And when the heat of the sun scorches you,
it makes it all too unbearable.

And you hope that the adversities don't last for long.
'Cos you relish for the perfect day.

Always.

Did I just have an emo talk with Sam =\

2007-07-04T01:16:00.000-07:00

Notorious B.I.G. Deceased. Drive-by shooting.

Gianni Versace. Deceased. Murdered.

Princess Diana. Deceased. Car crash.

Mother Teresa. Deceased. Poor health.

John Denver. Deceased. Airplane crash.

Michael Hutchence. Deceased. Apparent suicide.

Chris Farley. Deceased. Drug overdose.

Bonnie Hunt. Deceased. MI-185 crash.

Bless their souls.

It has been 10 years since their untimely deaths. I don't know if it's the fact that I was only 9, or it my emotions are lagging but the news on TV reporting their deaths are still fresh in mind. The scene of the Versace residence. The wrecked car in the Paris tunnel. SG's first ever airplane tragedy.

I still remember the 31st day of August, preparing to go out for lunch, yet everyone was glued to the TV set. "Is she really gone?" An hour or two later, the same news was being reported so we reluctantly switched off the TV set.

I still remember having this thought of Princess Di and Mother Teresa being up in the Heavens, with John Denver serenading.

10 years back returned for me some 2 days ago. It was the 'Concert for Diana'. Artistes remembering her, even the civil folk whose lives she had touched. The life she had. I still remember reading the National Enquirer my mum used to purchase. There'd always be articles pertaining to Princess Di. Yet, despite all the media attention, she did good. Real good.

Frankly speaking, I don't know why her death still has an impact on me. Maybe it's cos' the time it happened was so close to a personal tragedy.

1997 come to think bout' it, was really a tough time. For me at least.

With the months ahead, would I cope?

Happy Birthday America.

2007-06-27T10:07:00.001-07:00

It has been 3 days since school started. How those 2 weeks of Mid-Sem break seem to fly. Well, at least I know I made good use of it =)

Tuesday (19/6)

Finally the J.A.R.S watched Shrek 3 at Cathay. Seriously the baby ogres and 'Dronkeys' are uber-cuuuuuuute! Lunch at Fish & Co's Glass House. I'll never be able to finish that one whole main course. "STONE-ed" Cracks me up lah Sue! Walked around PS, where we then somehow ended up at the Esplanade. And, wow! Some kinda emo session. One of the most emo sessions I've 'attended' =X Funny thing bout' me is that I get emo few hours AFTER the session =\ Should have gone with more cans of Iced Lemon Tea lah.

Thursday (21/6)

Surf's Up with the 3/5 the Kambings (1 Kambing 'sesat', while the other had project meeting in sch, who came later eventually) Oh yah, plus 2 'adik-s' of Rad K. The movie was OH-kay. The journeys to and fro were like.. Let's just say if someone doesn't REALLY know the way, it can get funnily frustrating. Ended up at Pasir Ris Interchange. 6 girls waiting for 1 guy. Aiyo =\

Saturday (23/6)

The first time I brought my mum out in the ride after like 2 months getting my license? Watched Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer with Sarah, FX, Jason and KX. This is where the weird part comes in. We see Desmond our Pri Sch mate at NTUC. Then Joann, and then followed by ZX and Luq. AND then, I saw Khai, who was apparently lost. Me and Sarah concluded that the things girls and guys talk bout' when they bump into each other are totally different =\ And it's amazing how guys who are strangers to each other can talk like long-time buddies cos' they have one subject in common: NS. After the movie, which was around midnight, we headed to ECP for supper. The journey, there again, was funnily frustrating, especially when Sarah demonstrated what to do in case of an accident, airplane style, actions and announcements all included. Lols!

Sunday

Had to accompany mum for the day. So, to the 8 of us:

I'M SORRY =(

Monday (25/6)

1-way emo session night with Sarah & FX at HAJI Kader's (I think he just returned from Haj).

Tuesday (26/6)

A day out with Bolz. Nuff' said =X

Wednesday (27/6)

Only Julie knows what happened. And it shall stay that way. HAH.

So after all that has happened within these 2 weeks or so, I've a few random thoughts:-

1) Just as I thought the easiest part of all these was leaving, it suddenly took a 180 degree turn.

2) The dreams, the aspirations we have. In the time to come, will we be able to achieve them all? Will we be who we want to be? Will we be who our friends say we'll be?

3) Quality, not quantity, they say. So how did the phrase, "Too much, too soon", come about?

2007-06-21T00:52:00.000-07:00

"To err is human, to forgive is divine."

Yes, forgiving is a virtue, a virtue practiced way back centuries ago. To the time when Prophet Muhamad forgave the commoners for treating him cruelly.

But no one said anythin' bout forgiving BUT not forgetting (in my view at least). I used to think I was the type. With all the"I'm sorry"-s and "I really feel bad"-s spoken yet, you'll always have that certain incident etched at the back of your head always. It's not as if it's somethin' you remembered on purpose, it's just a moment in time you happen to remember, and it just happened to be bad. And maybe sometimes when you recollect bout' those incidents, you'll let out a tear or two.

That was until someone told me that if you've truly forgiven someone, it'll be forgotten, cos the fact that you haven't forgotten bout' it only spells that you still hold a grudge against that person. I pondered over it for some time, and maybe am still pondering over it.

Nevertheless, the most vital for me is closure after the mishap. 'Cos even after an argument, if you don't come to terms bout' the bad blood i.e. talking bout it, the thought of the incident will still be lingering. And even with all the apologies, it's just plain nothing.

To conclude, I will forgive and I won't forget 'cos if you forget, what's there to serve as a reminder to not repeat the same thing over? To put it even shorter, "To forgive and seek closure" cos frankly, I won't forget.

And besides, I can't afford to bear any grudges when I eventually leave.

This entry was not meant to spite anyone. Any 'terase-ness' to anyone living or dead, bouncing lizards or what not is purely coincidental =)

I don't understand how people generally can put on a fake front. It's like being a hypocrite within oneself. I'm so going to suffer in the business world =X

Apart from my random thoughts, I've been watching Bones Seasons 1 & 2. Do I dare say it's probably better than CSI. It makes you feel for the victims, and of course the main characters. Who would have thought psychology and anthropology could exist in 1 show, when the latter is all bout hard facts and the former is subjective? And if I can sob like a baby for Season 2's finale, the rest of you'd better get ready a 1 month's supply of Kleenex on standby.

2007-06-10T00:21:00.000-07:00

And yes, the mid-sem tests are finally over. Having afternoon papers is sucha b*tch. Not only do you have to study the day before, but you'd feel obliged to study in the morning of the test day. Sucha bummer. BUT, it IS over.

I'd downloaded all of the albums of Westlife I hadn't heard, even their first album, though I own 2 of them. Why? Cos' apparently I've lost them. Both of them! Geez.

Memory only serves me from Thursday onwards, so here goes:

Thursday

CRA Test. I think the paper was do-able, but it was kinda tedious (which accounting paper is not tedious, seriously). Went to have some kinda early dinner at IKEA. The way it's built, one would get sucha great exercise even if one didn't intend to in the first place. HAH. To WhiteSands and some camp in Changi. Home.

Friday

Last paper, F.Tax. Neither good nor bad. Right. Had another early dinner, but this time at WhiteSand's Cavana. "Food got standard de lah". Headed to Bedok to drop YL, so might as well drop in on Sue eh? So, whatever happens at the void deck, stays at the void deck. Hah.

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All these while having friends in the front seat with me, I've observed a few characters.

The one who kinda knows the directions, but when she gets it wrong, we end up in a 'heated argument'. The one, Julie.

The one who questions if you can really drive. The one, Sam.

The one who is very sure of the directions, and doesn't make you 'kan-cheong'. The ones, Nad and YL.

The one whom when you're driving around her area, and you just wanna make sure you've got the right directions but she intentionally tells you it is the wrong way. The one, Sue.

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They say first impressions count. It's unfair to some, but advantageous to others. It's just a fact of life. Never judge anyone till you truly know that person.

I slept at 5am on Friday night. I was chatting with a friend I hadn't spoken to in a very wrong time, and she just happened to say 'hi'. Laughing to myself in the middle of the night. Catching up on each other's happenings. Memories of back then, which were bittersweet. People from the past, how much they've changed. How we were 'kids', doin' all the petty things e.g 9/11 But people change, and we've to embrace these changes, no matter how good or bad they are, cos changes are here to stay.

And petty guys put me off, seriously.

2007-05-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

Today is pictorial day just cause.

Graduation Day. Not mine at least. Didn't plan to run into those guys. I forgot why I was with Rad, but anyways, she wanted to snoop around the graduation area. Before that she was sayin' somethin' like,"If we bump into them, confirm ketawer tergolek-golek". Translation: "confirm roll on the floor laughing", which I think we did =X

This one's the TPJC Fashion Show. If I'm not mistaken it's called Utopia. Some yearly thingy. And the theme was 'Noir'. I know it's French but I can't remember for what. I think it's white. The Arts Club alumni designed the clothes themselves with the theme Gothic. Kinda impressive I must say. Which also explains why Sarah and Faisal are dressed like that. Oh yeah, the in-house band was playing a song by myWrites. Didn't know it was that mainstream, but good to know =)

This was dinner at Lau Pa Sat on Saturday.

From (L-R): Fried rice, Chilli Crab, Satay.

After so long I get to eat crab. Though it wasn't as meaty as it was supposed to be. Is $20 for Chilli Crab expensive?

This was at Settler's Cafe. Had a good time there, though I think we were kinda annoying the staff over there cos' we were changing games every 2-3 rounds.

I just chanced upon this picture so just added it in. Isn't she a doll =X

2007-05-26T01:04:00.000-07:00

Hellllloooooo!

Wooooohooooo!

Okay, apologies for the 'hyper-ness'. I think I'm high on adrenaline or somethin'.

Woohoo!

So anyways, I went to school to attend BTM lecture. Blame myself for not listening attentively to last week's lecture that'd announced that there was no lecture the next week.

Fortunately for me there were 'kambing-s' to accompany me.

Talking to the 'makcik cleaner was fun. Especially bout' the 'Jibrail' thingy. Omg. Hands down! Sarcasm rocks my socks =D Oh yeah, Malay 'peribahasa' is so not my thing. Most people proficient in the language would have been able to decipher the whole phrase with the main subjects. For me, you've to even act out the adverbs and what not. Now ain't that a b****.

Attended Sarah's and Faisal's runway show.

There's this lass, kinda popular on Kid's Central 'whatzhername'. Oh yah, Kim. She was there. (Like duh, she's from the school) Not really like some diva as I thought her to be. Oooo, and I think the new VP is too hot to be a VP =X

Fashionistas.

The designs were mostly goth, some eccentric, some peculiar.

(I should take more pictures)

At the end of it all, had dinner with Preet and Ching.

I'm too high to be studying. Somethin' is wrong with me.

2007-05-21T22:28:00.000-07:00

An episode more of both Grey's Anatomy and Heroes to go and I'll be done with watchin' all the season finales.

So until then, it's no more being mesmerized by Warrick Brown's eyes. No more wondering to myself how a guy like Dean Winchester could exist in reality. No more being amused by the silly antics of Marc James.

Until fall that is.

I wonder when Private Practice is going to debut though. And that new dramedy starring Lucy Liu.

I've been listening to the music of Elvis, Abba, Ritchie Valens and Grease. It's like I'm bringing the 50's and 70's out of me. Sounds from back then. Simple, yet puts you in the mood. Whatever happened to old-fashioned, feel-good music one may wonder.

Bus rides are a good way for socialization, and I don't mean the kind where you go up to a total stranger and make a fool of oneself. I'm talking bout' the rides you actually don't have to take, yet you still take them nevertheless 'cos you just wanna talk to a certain someone. Could be a good friend, or just someone you just got acquainted with. But mostly, it's the former.

Big groups of people are fun, but at the end of the day, it's those one-to-one talks that matter. 'Cos that's when you'd probably let loose and just talk. Talk bout' stuff. The deeper stuff. That's why they call it 'heart-to-heart' talks.

And then you take the bus ride home. You ponder over the things that were said. You listen to the music playing on your iPod. You watch the surroundings just pass by. You feel a sense of serenity.

2007-05-08T01:33:00.000-07:00

I made a $50 bet with Brown today. I'm so sure I'll uphold but as he said, "You'll never know what may happen".

Sometimes you feel like giving up,
and it seems that the whole world is against you.

But you see, things happen for a reason,
and I believe people are the way they are for a reason.

Each person has a part in this thing we call life.

So don't push them away; embrace them.
Heck, give yourself a smile.

'Cos there's more to life than you think there ever was.

As much as I wanna believe,
it's really hard to believe those words,
words that you once spoke of,
nor the words you wrote of.

Either that,
or the devil in me is trying to take its reign.

Sesungguhnya, ku tetap mengingati janjimu itu.

2007-05-05T12:47:00.000-07:00

Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 5 peope to be tagged, list their names and why you choose them. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you're tagged" on their profile and tell them to read your latest blog entry. =)

Random No.1

I get a lil' irritated when people type using the 'big small big small" style i.e. aBcDeFg (it's alr driving me nuts typing that)

Random No.2

I've a fetish for all things leather =D

Random No.3

I wish I was born few years earlier so that I could meet my paternal grandparents.

Random No.4

I neither hate or love pets.

Random No.5

I don't show excitement or enthusiasm easily.

Random No.6

I've been telling myself to wear less black, but in fact, I feel the most comfortable wearing black.

Random No.7

The more I make fun of you, the more I care bout' you.

Random No.8

I can go a month w/o eating ice cream, a week w/o eating chocolate.

Random No.9

I sometimes feel the oldest amongst the siblings.

Random No.10

The 1st novel (not counting Enid Blyton) I read was The Firm by John Grisham. That was way back in P5.

I'm not going to do the 5 people thingy. Lols.

2007-05-05T01:21:00.000-07:00

So here I am, officially 19 years young.

3rd May

Had only 1 lecture for the day. Was supposed to meet Julie & Asy (abbreviation: AJ) in school at 11, but who would have thought lecture ended 20 minutes earlier (I knew I did) Mocha cake compliments of Sam and YL (Though I'm not that sure if the latter did actually share for the cake. Lols). Fast forward. Got some groceries from NTUC. Cooked lunch Italiano style, and no, I don't have pics =X

I shan't rub anythin' in about hanging computers as much as I'd really love to.

Julie went off at 4, APPARENTLY to meet her parents. Me and Asy fell asleep on the sofa. I don't know if it was the rainy weather or that Janice Dickinson simply bore us to sleep. So after 1.5 hours of sleep and getting some cleaning done in the kitchen, she came back. Everythin' was supposed to be as normal. And so I thought.

Out of the blue, there was a herd of 'kambing' (sheep) in the dining area with balloons =\

And what did I do?

I ran into the toilet =X

NY Pizza. Lemonade. AI. Unwrapping of newspapers. Yesssa. Inside, so mua =D

The 'kambing-s' left after 'Parental Guidance', which I thought was kinda sweet; I meant the show.

Met Sarah near my place. Passed me the present from Monisha (I chose the angel by the way), and we talked for quite some time.

Soon after, me and AJ returned back to my place to cut the cake. "Pandai eh, after all dah balik baru potong kek". (Transaltion: Smart eh, after all have left then cut the cake)

Fast forward. Me and Julie walked Asy home, blowing bubbles, deprived of childhood.

We watched 'The Phone'. Not scary at all cos' no one made a fool of themselves screaming =X

I finally slept at around 3 in the morning.

4th May

School started at 9. Lessons till 5. Was tryin' to stay awake throughout the day. Well-wishers all round. Bumped into Husna! "Rindu seh". Had dinner with Penny at Tam Central. So much for being the birthday girl. I sent her home -_-''

So technically I kinda celebrated my birthday a day earlier. Lols.

So yeah, there's so many to thank.

Julie: Thanks for the surprise party. Really appreciate it. And where in the world did you get the picture for the card?!

Asy: Thanks for ganging up with me against Julie =X

Kambing-2 i.e. Rad, Sue, 'Ain, Nadiah N., Aqilah: Thanks for the surprise. Wait, thanks for the shock and giving me the task of unwrapping layers =\

Han & Kal: Thanks for chipping in.

Monisha: Thanks for the angel.

Sarah: Thanks for taking time out to pass the presents and talk like how we always do ;-)

Jasmine: 4-way wisher. Props woman! Sms. Face to face. Friendster comment. Birthday card.

Munirah: Thanks for the chocolate.

Sam & YL: Thanks for the cake.

Penny: Thanks for spending the night with me.

(in a somewhat no particular order): Xian, Socks, Neh, Fung, JieSi, Kev, Ahmad, Jhon, Shahirah, Nad Z., Jaspreet, Ces, Deidra, JingMei, Xue Wei, Casey, Husna. Thanks for Sms wishes.

Nick, Loretta, Jan, Rabia, JM, WJ: Thanks for the Net wishes.

And coursemates who wished me. Thanks =)

With that, I shall retreat back to my sanctuary; my bed.

2007-05-02T00:50:00.000-07:00

So my parents have been overseas for 1 week now. Another week to go. At times I think I can make with them, at times I don't.

The good thing's that there's not much noise around the house.

The bad thing's that the laundry is piling up, no home cooked food, no one to nag at me to have breakfast before I leave for school. And I find myself not staying home as much as I need to.

You know, I do regret not eating at home as often as I should. Nothin' tastes as good as home-cooked food; not even instant noodles and fast food.

I miss Dad. Though the only things we talk bout' are serious stuff, he keeps me sane and grounded. He encourages me to be independent and learn. I get the feeling he expects good things out of me. To know how to fix tangible things when they're broken, to carry out various transactions at the bank. Nevertheless, he doesn't stress me out. It's like as long as I've tried my best, he's contented. That's why I never want to disappoint him.

It was like a week before the TP test. He'd asked me if I was confident of passing, and I gave him a vague answer. He even added that even if I didn't make it the 1st try, he could still afford to keep the car longer. You see, he's getting posted to Jeddah again for another 3 years, and since my 1st bro has his own car, and no one else in the family is in the process of getting a driver's license, the car will be mine. Maybe most would think that my primary motivation of passing on the 1st try was to own the car, but in actual fact, it's not. It's the thought of making Dad proud that is.

When I broke the news to Dad over the phone right after I got my driving results, it was probably one of the few times that I knew Dad was proud of me. Even when I got my 'O' Level results, I didn't feel it (though my results weren't that much to be all celebratory to begin with).

2-3 months later he'll be flying off again. I wish he could stay longer.

He works hard to give the family a good life (though he has still yet changed to an LCD TV) and yeah, he's the last person I'd want to disappoint.

They say the mate you'll find may be a 'reincarnation' of your father, which to me, holds a whole lot of truth.
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Quick Recap of the past few days

Friday: Lectures. Pentas 07' viewing. Nadi kecoh-ness at KFC's. Kung Pow with Sarah over at my place.

Saturday: Practical lesson. Met up with 4/5 of Abyss + Lynette & Ching. Last minute shopping within the last hour of closing time. When I went out, I thought of buying nothing. When I went home, I brought back a Levi's tee and a pair of Gap jeans which needs altering. Yu Ling is good for conducting QC.

Sunday: Practical lesson. Tutorials. Watched downloaded shows i.e 30 Rock, CSI:LV, Ugly Betty, Supernatural.

Monday: TP Test (If you hadn't realised by now, I passed on my 1st try with 16 points. Could have been 8 if not for the woman who appeared out of nowhere) SAPM Tutorial. Drew up financial reports. Lunch for the SWCC people. Met Neh. Again, never thought of buying anythin when I went to Bugis. Went home with a bag =\ Guided a man to his destination i.e. SOKA all the way from the Interchange. Had my 1st feel of my brother's car. Had dinner with bro at the prata stall. Couldn't bear to look when bro drove 120km/h with the windows open and loud music blaring like some Ah Beng wannabe.

Today: Met Su Ling. Dinner at the airport. On the hunt for some B&J's ice cream. Dinner (again) with bro at Mac's.

Now there, isn't class politics a bitch.

And don't have any funny ideas that I can bring any of you around just as yet. I still can't park w/o the aid of the poles =\

2007-04-15T02:46:00.000-07:00

So it's been like a month since I've updated eh? Fine2, I'll return to my normal transmission.

Lemme see, the week after I last updated was Pentas week - annual Malay production . This is the only time in the year where I get to listen to Malay songs, thus updating my Malay 'playlist', which is pathetically less than 10, which includes the National Anthem and that Children's Day song. I like the 'jiwang' songs. Thank you =X

So i guess that week was kinda hell. Nevertheless, we'd have our quirky moments. And no, I'm not going to post any video here.

And probably the important things I can bring home from that week is 1) co-operation 2) to not mix work with personal relationships 3) work is work, play is play 4) to control your emotions even at the lowest moments

With such a thingy, you see people at their best, and at their worst =\

And then I realise I don't have any pics from Pentas, so I've stolen one. Hah.

FYI, for those whom it may concern, THAT guy is in it =X

And then I watched a movie with some of the folks from 2A06 the week after. Freedom writers. I so love such movies =)

So if you look carefully, that's 3 girls and 2 guys. We can so form our own 'Steps' or somethin'. Lols.

On that week's Saturday, had the Nadi Beach Outing. Started out from morning till I think around 9? Ate. Twister-ed. Cycled. Taiti-ed. Bowled. I should go cycling more often. I seem to be losing my balance =\

Apparently I'm not in many pics so this is the best I could come up with though I'd like to add I look stupid in it. Voice in my head: The camera doesn't lie

The week after I did some random stuff. Going out with Casey & Sarah (individually) and maybe some other people I forgot =\

The following week was the PPP thingy. Another production -- okay, not exactly but we'd to put up the show that was done months back.

So ironically, for me plus 'Ain plus Su had to go back for 3 day rehearsals just to learn how to put boxes for the actual day. But it's okay 'cos we enjoyed each other's company. Waha.

The pic's like taken after the show, which we then went to MS, and then to Esplanade to cam-whore. Too many to display (and I, too, wanna save face)

On that Sunday went to my cousin Fie's house to review the recent and past Pentas shows, which we then watched Shutter after that. And trust me, some of the screams were sincere =D

All of these while having to have consultation sessions. The one under the void deck was 'weirdly cool' and 'funnily crazy', eh Rad?

Which brings me to Monday where I went to Sentosa with Casey and Kev, where there was no sun. All Kevin's fault =\ I then headed over to my cousin Nadiah's place to retrieve my Grey's Anatomy, like finally! So dinner was good (Nad jangan float) I left her place at 2310 and waited for a freakin' bus service 15 for 30mins to no avail. In the end, I'd to cab home -_-''

I'm like in the midst of Season 3, like WOOHOO!

Which eventually brings me to (technically) yesterday, where I spent the whole afternoon at my Granny's place, and the night at Kev's place for the Band Gathering thingy with mostly the usual people.

So, in conclusion, haven't the hols been 'oh-so-boring' for me =X

2007-03-18T19:27:00.000-07:00

Having thoughts running through your mind in the middle of the night can really wreck one's sleeping cycle. That's what happened last night. But nevertheless (and lucky for me), he somehow placed things into perspective, in a way that I didn't imagine he was capable of doing in the first place.

Moral of the story: Never underestimate someone who looks 'bo chup'.

Thanks for the 5am pep talk. You know who you are :)

And as the day went by, I realise some things are just meant to be the way they are.

2007-03-14T23:45:00.000-07:00

So the much anticipated (yah huh) results are out. Some expected, some unexpected. I was so sure I was going to screw up my World Issues cos for one thing, I'd no freakin' clue what was going on for the project which constituted of 40% of the final grade. Thank God I kept my running streak of As for CDS =) So that plus 2B+s and 2Bs for the rest, yet I'm not kinda jumping for joy though I should be contented with the results.

I kinda get the feeling I can only be B grade, not an A grade. Kinda like you're just meant to support the top people, not meant to do greater things. (oooo, kinda sounds like Heroes)

So nevertheless, come to think bout' it (again), I should feel happy for having relatively good grades (though not excellent), having a great bunch of friends, and the opportunity to achieve my dreams.

And probably with the latter, eventually, I'll be able to do great things and go "Yatta!"

2007-03-07T01:23:00.000-08:00

I have inquisitive friends =\

2007-03-06T23:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday

Whole day out with Casey. Breakfast at Bedok's Mac. Drinks on the house at Sentosa's Coffee Bean. It's been sucha long time since I stepped foot on Sentosa. One of the tram drivers were entertaining. We should have more drivers like Bala =X So yeah, we were bout to tan when these 2 Malay guys suddenly appeared in front of us, citing that one of them had to do a dare. So the next moment, we witnessed a guy dancing in front of us, wearing a black bra =\

Went for the luge ride, which was kinda cool, both the rides up and down. Heh. Good things should only be done once. Cafe del Mar in the later part, which was also kinda cool.

VivoCity. Note that I'm trying to make things brief. Don't wanna go so much into detail.

So basically it was a day to let off some steam, emotionally and physically.

Today

Spent the afternoon at home. Had driving lesson at 4+ Went home, and went out again at 8 to meet up with FX & Sarah to have dinner and our usual 'think until so far' conversations. House of Bones =)

I love my friends =D

2007-03-02T00:55:00.000-08:00

With the weight of the 'world' on my shoulders,
it is emotionally draining,
and probably a tad exhausting.

Sometimes I just wanna throw it all aside,
just give up,
and be selfish for the rest of my life.

But, no.

I am not going to be like that.
No, I was not brought up to be like that.
So I'm just gonna keep on truckin'.

Despite the frustration it brings,
and probably even the occasional tears.

'Cause one never knows when you'll get that one last.

2007-02-24T20:50:00.000-08:00

If I could, I'd pack my bags this very moment and just walk away, not look back.

If only I'd the guts; well maybe in 5 years time.

2007-02-21T02:01:00.000-08:00

Oh, Signore Patrizio...

you can serenade to me anytime~

*sighs*

2007-02-17T00:36:00.000-08:00

An E-mail Extract:

Life on the Train

A while back, I read a very interesting book that compared life to a train ride or a series of train rides.

Life is like a train ride, it read. We get on. We ride. We get off. We get back on and ride some more. There are accidents, and there are delays. At certain stops there are surprises. Some of these will translate into great moments of joy, some will result in profound sorrow.

When we are born and we first board the train, we meet people whom we think will be with us for the entire journey. Those people are our parents.

Sadly, this is far from the truth.

Our parents are with us for as long as we absolutely needed them. They, too, have journeys they must complete. We live on with the memories of their love, affection, friendship, guidance and their ever presence.

There are others who board the train and who eventually become very important to us, in turn. These people are our brothers, sisters, friends and acquaintances, whom we will learn to love and cherish.

Some people consider their journey like a jaunty tour. They will just go merrily along. Others will encounter many upsets, tears, losses on their journey. Others still, will linger on to offer a helping hand to anyone in need.

Some people on the train will leave an everlasting impression when they get off. Some will get on and off the train so quickly, they will scarcely leave a sign that they ever traveled along with you or ever crossed your path.

We will sometimes be upset that some passengers whom we love, will choose to sit in another compartment, and leave us to travel on our own. Then again, there's nothing that says we can't seek them out anyway.

Nevertheless, once sought out and found, we may not even be able to sit next to them because that seat will already be taken. That's okay. Everyone's journey will be filled with hopes, dreams, challenges, setbacks and goodbyes. We must strive to make the best of it, no matter what. We must constantly strive to understand our travel companions and look for the best in everyone.

Remember that at any moment during our journey, any one of our travel companions can have a weak moment and be in need of our help. We, too, may vacillate or hesitate, even trip. Hopefully we can count on someone being there to be supportive and understanding.

The bigger mystery of our journey is that we don't know when our last stop will come. Neither do we know when our travel companions will make their last stop, not even those sitting in the seat next to us.

Personally, I know I'll be sad to make my final stop; I'm sure of it.

My separation from all those friends and acquaintances I made during the train ride will be painful. Leaving all those I'm close to will be a sad thing. But then again, I'm certain that one day I'll get to the main station only to meet up with everyone else. They'll all be carrying their baggage, most of which they didn't have when they first got on this train.

I'll be glad to see them again. I'll also be glad to have contributed to their baggage, and to have enriched their lives, just as much as they would have contributed to my baggage and enriched my life.

We're all on this train ride together. Above all, we shoul all try to strive to make the ride as pleasant and memorable as we can, righ up until we each make the final stop and leave the train for the last time....

2007-02-16T09:26:00.001-08:00

After a long hiatus, I went for CMA lecture. OMG. Even for the last lecture, it was so so so slow paced. For one, ONE question, it took him one whole hour to go through it, when I think most of us completed the question in 15 mins. Now I remember why I didn't go for CMA lectures.

Went to TM with Jas after that for her last-min shopping. Indecisive girl =\

IF tutorial. Yada yada. Killed time in school till 5 plus to meet Casey later. Went to to town (again) for shopping. Everyone's doing their last min New Year shopping. So yah, oooooo, the prata at Wisma is fantabulous =D Had a drink after that, thus my 'recuperating' state. HAH.

My courseworks are full of B's. Hopefully they don't falter by end year. CONCENTRATE.

Speakin' of concentration, some people really have bad sense of timing. Like seriously. Nevertheless, it's over.

*starts breaking into song* Over,over, over!!

"What the f*** is his problem?"

And then some of you may wonder, "Him who?"

Answer:

"He" can be found in your Primary school textbooks. WAHA.

2007-02-15T00:29:00.000-08:00

S.A.D 07' (Singles Awareness Day) HEH.

Driving lesson at 10. I actually smsed my dad even though we were in the same house. I just didn't have the energy to drag myself out of bed to ask him for some extra cash for the day. My mum was taken aback a lil'. Haha.

Incidently, Sharon was having her lessons too (which I'd forgotten initially). So today's instructor was fun. He reminds me of someone. OMG. I suddenly remember. He reminds me of one of my tutors, those oblivious, funny kind of people (thought the former's much better in terms of sense of humour). Went back to TP with Sharon cos I was to meet Rad there.

Bumped to Penny and her beau there. Sorry arh. As always, I'm quite 'dao' =\ So with that, me and Rad proceeded to town. Woohoo. Splurging was in progress. Still can't believe I spent that much in less than a few hours.

Around dawn, took the bus to Fengshan CC (getting lost along the way) to meet Moon. She was on visitation to her ex-colleagues, Caroline & Esther. Interesting, 'sex-ed' up people. Lols.

We went to meet Sarah after that cos' apparently she wanted to pass us somethin' (which I didn't know what till then). Somethin' she made by hand. Pretty =) Bumped into Luq. Must have felt guilty to not 'sapa' us that he actually smsed me an hour ago. Haha. Speakin' of which, I'd coke spilt on my back. Luckily I was in a good mood. Hah. Went our separate ways a lil' before 9. I was already drained by then.

Emotions have a chain effect. I wish I knew how to make you feel better.

Currently addicted to 'Song 4 Lovers' by Liberty X, though it was released quite some time back. There's just somethin' bout gospel singing that entices me.

2007-02-12T19:47:00.000-08:00

Spot the guy who can bake. I'll give you a hint. He has SMALL eyes. AHAHAHAHAHA!!!

In other news, I bought Cleo magazine. It's been a few months since I bought one. Okay, the only reason why I bought it is cos' it's the bachelor issue. And the next page is dedicated to Neh. WAHA.

Though with that I personally prefer Bachelor No.2.

And then as I was flipping the pages... CHI TOT! I saw this!

AAAHHHH! Look at those piercing blue eyes.. Sigh...

=)

2007-02-11T21:40:00.000-08:00

Prom Queen. Jock. Geek. Loner. It doesn't matter what people labelled you as, cos' only you yourself know who you are. When you leave school for the real world, people won't care what you were back then. So how truly do you know your classmates; those you think you know, and those whom you never talked to?

One hour can change everything. Your perception of people, your relationships with people. And probably even your entire course of life.

One Tree Hill: Pictures of You - a must watch.

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It's been a few days since the death of Anna Nicole Smith was announced. Still hasn't gotten into my system though. She was so young. 39 years. About to begin the rest of her life with a few months old daughter, still recovering from her son's death. Life is ever so fragile.

I wonder if everyone who mattered knew how much they meant.

2007-02-10T01:36:00.000-08:00

WOOHOO! I'm back to my normal self! Rejoice!!

Wasn't myself towards the end of last week, and the beginning of the week. But now, no more. The things PMS does =
Thanks Rad for boldly offering yourself to my rants =p

World Issues presentation postponed. Meeting role-play.

Oh yah, I'm a genius =D

I'm probably quite high now. What a transition from just a couple of days ago. Okay, exams are just around the corner. "Chiong arhhhhhhhh".

Nothin' beats putting a smile on your friends' faces.

And it is no surprise, to see the softness of the moon in your eyes
The gentle sparkle of the stars in your eyes
When I look in your eyes

So near, yet so far...

2007-02-04T22:45:00.000-08:00

Take That - Patience

Just have a little patience

I'm still hurting from a love I lost,

I'm feeling your frustration.

Any minute all the pain will stop.

Just hold me close inside your arms tonight,

don't be too hard on my emotions

Cause I need time.

My heart has no feeling.

So while I'm still healing,

Just try and have a little patience.

I really wanna start over again,

I know you wanna be my salvation.

The one that I can always depend.

I'll try to be strong.

Believe me, I'm trying to move on,

It's complicated but understand me.

Cause I need time,

My heart is numb has no feeling,

So while I'm still healing,

Just try and have a little patience,

Yeah, have a little patience, Yeah

Cause these scars run so deep,

It's been hard,

But I have to believe in me.

Have a little patience,

Woah, Cause I, I just need time,

My heart is numb has no feeling,

So while I'm still healing,

just try, and have a little patience,

Have a little patience,

My heart is numb has no feeling,

So while I'm still healing

just try and have a little... Patience

Où étiez-vous quand j'a eu besoin de vous plus ?

2007-01-27T02:46:00.000-08:00

"You do take my breath away..You make my heart beat faster..You make my palms sweat..But that doesn't mean I don't love you; it means I do. Sometimes your heart knows things your mind can't explain. And my heart doesn't race for anyone else."
- Daniel Meade (Ugly Betty)

I just found his words 'oh-so-sweet', but of course you've gotta feel for him since somethin' unfortunate later happens to him. Some sorta 'karma' for him I guess.

So, anyways, being a rose among the thorns ain't sucha bad thing, especially when you find yourself not trying to look at a person for too long =X

man jep jai, yang khaao...

kor tode na kah~

2007-01-23T20:21:00.000-08:00

Behind the forced smiles and the awkward silence lies disappointment.

I'm sorry I can't be perfect.

Today's the day I finally experienced the certain phrase 'double whammy'.

2007-01-21T02:25:00.000-08:00

It has been one helluva long day.

Woke up at 7:30 to head to CDC for some admin business. Had to rush to ITE College East by 9 to attend some NE symposium which was, to me, uninteresting. By 1, we headed back to TP for the Open House. Fast forward to 19:00, I made my way to City Hall to meet Sarah. Had our dinner at MS' KFC's. Took the train back to Tam by 22:30 to meet FX.

I don't know what it was but me and Sarah were trying to speak with some English accents and not to be influenced by externalaties. I think it kinda died while the 3 of us were talking under the void deck. Rewind back to 8 years ago. Memories. Bliss. It was just one helluva night. Laughing without a care of waking up the residents, singing to every word of a statement, relationships, the future.

I'm deprived of sleep yet, it has been a good night =)

2007-01-20T01:32:00.000-08:00

Taken from Loretta's blog (found it interesting):

Proof that 2A06 is really way too active; CSM [one of our most patient and mild tutors],

1st degree - "Class, can you all please keep quiet while i'm explaining?"
2nd degree - "Class, i really can't hear myself."
The last straw - "Class, can you all just shut up and do your work?!"

Ironically, the group of us actually laughed when he said the last remark. 'Damn bad lah'.

So (again), I was tossing and turning in bed tryin' to get some sleep. Whilst I was doing that I was pondering to myself that each individual has his/her own right to define what happiness and success is to them. And then while I was typing the last sentence, I realised that love doesn't last; care does. Okay, this is like a personal thingy. So yeah.

Forever in relationships? I'd rather for life. Why? Cos' the deceased won't exactly be capable of giving you the support you need right? He/She'll only be able to do it in life. From the other world? Now that's a thought.

Thus my version of BFF would be BFL.

Buddies For Life.

But of course I doubt it'll catch on cos it also stands for Big Fat Liar. Waha.

2007-01-19T03:28:00.000-08:00

It's like almost 3 in the morning and yet I can't seem to get myself to sleep. I've been having trouble getting to sleep. For the past week or longer, I'd been sleeping without the air conditioner, turning on the fan or even doing without it cos it gets irritating with your hair getting blown in your face. Even since the air conditioner got repaired over the weekend, this is the first night I'm switching it on. Hopefully by the time I'm done with this entry, I can get the sleep that I need.

So tonight I've learnt a fair amount of stuff. I randomly found myself reading up on religions around the world, probably sparked by the fact that I didn't know that the Jehovah's Witness is a religion (forgive me for my ignorance). Conversely I discovered the latter cos it was on Yahoo! news that the parents of the first set of sextuplets (in some region) refused a blood transfusion for their babies cos it was against their religion. So yeah, I thought I could happily go through each religion since I thought they would just give me some brief description. On the contrary, it provides you with the works--history, beliefs, customs, practices, etc. I have only read up on Atheism, which is the non-belief of God. (ponders for few seconds) Come to think of it, does it even qualify as a religion?

And then there's Baha'i. A relatively 'new' religion, it originates from Iran, and is a religion that believes that there is truth in all religions e.g. Buddhism, Islam, which I think is kind of interesting.

Of course my brain got kinda dehydrated so after I was done with that, I got my attention to my own faith, somethin' I was already familliar with. Totally surprised to find out that there are Muslim boybands. Like seriously, BOYBANDS. Who'd have thought? There's this band called Seven8Six from America who sing Nasyids in R&B style, though I think the rhythm is kinda weird and their music video(s) is somewhat cheesy.

So after my interesting dicoveries, I sat myself in front of the tv. And after channel surfing for a few minutes, I decided to watch 'Ali's 65'. It's a documentary on Muhammad Ali's life. Before this, I just thought he was this outspoken boxer, won some great fights, has Parkinson's disease, and is famous for the line "Float like a buttefly, sting like a bee". There's like so much more to me. A voice to the minority. A strong believer in his values. Cocky, yet delivers in the ring. The greatest boxer. I've so much respect for him now. And who'd have thought he was connected to Malcom X.

All this talk probably bores ~~some~~ most of you lot. HAHAHA.

Though I will say that being nice doesn't pay. And Sarah will bear witness to this statement. Heh. Give give give, but one shouldn't expect to receive. WHY?!?!?!

Okay, that was so uncalled for. But seriously, to me, there are 3 types of recipients. No wait, 4.

When you give, they'll be indebted to return the favour. For example: Doing important quizzes and getting free lunch/dinners in return without even asking for them. Proudly provided for by YSL-- that's you SAM and your oh-so-gay friend =D
When you give, they acknowledge it. Yet, it seems as if they're stepping all over you.
When you give, they, again, acknowledge it. And when they say their thanks, you can really feel that they mean it.
And then there are thanks that you just can't seem to feel, though you know they really mean it.

In somehow unrelated issues, "Why am I the one supposed to slog it off so that they can do their own business? As if I don't have mine". But nvm. I shall be nice =D

Me = Sarcastic + Not prone to showing enthusiasm (random)

I Love Mum.

2007-01-18T09:37:00.000-08:00

"Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year, it’s an event --big or small, something that changes us, ideally it gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to" - Meridith, Grey's Anatomy Season 2: Begin The Begin

So now I ask you, my friend, which of the few things are really worth holding on to, and which are not?

2007-01-16T02:44:00.000-08:00

'Tis the season to be a tv ~~freak~~ junkie. Hohoho!

Why? One of the reasons:

AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 6 IS PREMIERING THIS WEDNESDAY!!!

That's on top of the 6 TV series I'm currently hooked on, which I'll gladly list down:

Heroes (Save the cheerleader, save the world!)

Prison Break (Damn the Vice President! Conspiracy!)

Dirt (Courtney Cox makes one helluva mean biatch)

Supernatural (It's Sam, not Sammy)

CSI:LV (Warrick *sigh*)

Grey's Anatomy (Okay I admit I've never actually followed through the seasons but basing on 'Straight From The Heart', it's definitely a show to watch)

Thank God for cable tv and eMule.

But for now, this week, will be pretty busy with Open House and online assignments. Has anyone seen the OH bags? You have a choice of either orange or army green =
It's funny. I'm supposed to be busy, yet I'm not busy. Did that even make sense? Okay, forget it.

You know you're bored off your mind when even though you've a presentation to give in less than 20 mins, you're singing songs from 6 different languages. Or wait, maybe it's just me.

2007-01-15T02:57:00.000-08:00

Pei Xuan once told me,"You'll have many friends when you enter poly, but you'll only have few true friends there". The year was 2005. Forward to 2007 and I now suddenly realise what she meant after all.

Seconday school life = JC life

Secondary school life ≠ Poly life

I don't think I've to go through the differences between the both of them, but what I can say is that poly's kinda a sneak preview of whatcha gonna get in the working world. Hypocrites. Backstabbers. And then there are the real, genuine helpful and encouraging ones.

I read somewhere before that one should have friends out of the working place. So to me: School = Working World

Friends in SS and Poly are definitely different. It's like in both institutions you're stuck with the same group of people for periods of time, yet the sense of emotional attachment is more prevalent in the former. I swear that no one has ever seen me cry in Poly, as in the 'ugly cry' sorta cry. In SS, the whole class and probably some more. Probably poly's the place where one grows up to be the working adult.

In conclusion, I'm glad that I've friends whom I've an emotional attachment to, both in and out of the 'workplace', even though it's fewer in the former.

2007-01-10T20:24:00.000-08:00

Friday & Saturday - Sports Symposium

I think it's the longest I've been backstage and have had the longest air time. Lols.

Sunday - 'Wan Neh's' 19th Birthday

The first and last time eating at NYDC =
Laser 'show' at the Fountain. Neh was touched by the message *aaawwwwww*

Esplanade. Mint Choco cake eaten with pieces of cardboard. Cam-whored. Cold jokes. Bliss =D

*smiles without teeth were intended

Off to Tam Central's Mac to talk *grins*

Cabbed home close to 3 in the morning. Would have stayed longer but I'd school later.

Amazingly I managed to stay awake throughout the long day.

Oh, my term test results were good. Not excellent, but good's enough.

Anyways, I've been stuck on this song by Nelly Furtado. I've listening to it over and over and over..........

2007-01-03T01:32:00.000-08:00

To begin with (and not seem to appear like a stick in the mud), I shall start off the year with this random thingy.

your name plus "poo";
azimahpoo? (this is a dumb question lah)

two feelings at the moment;
contented, sentimental

what are you listening to right now;
Seether Feat. Amy Lee - Broken

a part of a song lyric that is in your mind now;
"I don't need a man to make it happen, I get off being free.. I don't need a man to make me feel good, I get off doing my thing.. I don't need a ring around my finger to feel complete so lemme break it down.. I can get off when you ain't around.. Oh!"

the highlight of the week;
simply hangin' out with dear ones

what are you craving to have right now;
Mango Ice Blended from Starbucks & a Zinger

unforgettable childhood memory;
times in Jeddah - the school concerts, playing with neighbours around the compound

not so good memories;
whatever events that had me gone into a slight depression. lols.

what are your nicknames;
azi, azizi, zee, ah mah, imah, emma, xiao bian, anak cik azizah, mah, bitch (the list can go on and on)

your 3 plans for tomorrow;
attend school, have dinner with penny after school, watch Taboo!

are you thinking of someone now;
blank

are you single;
yes, and not interested for the moment. waha.

what do I want;
world peace (cheesy, but true)

say anythin' you want to whoever is reading your blog;
hey, how you doin'? *grins*

are you feelin' hungry;
nah huh. 2 1/2 meals is enough for the day.

~~who~~ what are you missin' right now?
my bed.

last friend you talked to online;
SAM YUZHE

what do you like about the night;
fresh cooling breeze, the silence of the night (excluding those irritating MVs), the darkness

what would you like to see;
a shooting star!

what would you want to be till now;
High Commissioner to the Thai Embassy =X

last gift;
ring from mum (I lost it dammit.)

do you like it;
yah huh, but sadly *moment of silence*

do you play an instrument;
sax, and maybe a few others.

what song did you last hear;
Michael Jackson - Billy Jean

people I hate most;
men with no balls (not literally)

who makes you laugh the most;
cast of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, and my own friends.

what makes you smile;
knee-length genuine leather boots =D

who do you have a crush on;
a certain "Russian" guy (real life), Jensen Ackles (move away Jules, he's mine whatever you say =p)

name 6 people to do this;
(I shan't name any. Waha)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

New Year, new beginning.

Can you actually believe I spent New Year's Day at home cos' I had to be sick. Sheesh.

So anyways, what did I do today? *ponders*

Oh yes, I spent the afternoon with Julie. LJs. Ben&Jerry's New York Chocolate Fudge (did I get it right?). Came over to my place for a while. In short, what an A.S.S-ful afternoon it was =X

Went to meet FX for dinner at CS. Talked and talked till like 11+

Did FOI tutorial.

I actually have lotsa thoughts to type down, but I'm kinda tired. (ok, maybe I've forgotten most of them)

Though ONE thing I'll say is,"Why do people still have to get jealous?"

Scenario: Boy meets girl. Boy lets girl go out with guy friends. Girl lets girls go out with girl friends. Then suddenly either one of them will tell the other how insecure they feel when he/she hangs out with the opposite sex friends.

What has ever happened to trust in a relationship?

(singlish) I hear bout' this relationship jealousy shit nonsense, I lyka sian can?

Look. Why do you have to worry bout' your boyfriend/girlfriend probably hooking up with their opposite sex friends? If they wanted to hook up, they'd have done that like wayyyyyyyy before they got to know you.

AND, if you know that your significant other will be unreasonably jealous of the special bond you have with your apparently 'good friend', please do all of us a favour. Either a) Have less contact with the person b) Twist your words a lil' when 'reporting' (ignorance is bliss, not everythin' was made to be made known or c) Enjoy the truckload of s*** you'll be faced with in the upcoming future.

Peace.

2006-12-31T02:07:00.000-08:00

before i forget to mention again: PENNY IS BACK FROM HK.

(okay, back to regular transmission)

Thursday:

Had to go back to school for some stuff ongoing for Symposium. Don't ask; it's boring sh*t. And I'm like in charge of the stage.

Friday:

Went back to school (again) for FOI project. Deadline then was like a week away but there was like nothin' done. So yeah, we had to 'pia'. Well at least we tried to. It's tiring to be doing a project full of theory sh*t that I couldn't even last 3 hours, and that was inluding an hour of unintended break. My (now defunct) Legal Aspects group was there doing their FOI project. I guess they got pretty bored too. Ronnie was messin' with my hp. Nicholai went through all 700+ songs on my iPod (and yes, I listen to the Carpenters, the Beatles and songs of different languages). Loretta was handin' out Merci Chocolate whilst together with me, tried to figure out how to remove the MMC from her hp. All this when Jas was beside me tryin to work on our project. Yet, she still could find the time to get a shot.

Ronnie looks weird over there. Anyways, lunch-ed with them (minus Jas). Somehow we were talking bout how Harry Potter and Ron Weasely are getting older (and uglier), how J.K Rowling couldn't possibly manage to match the popularity of her current series with another childrens' book series, how stupid catfish are etc. Went back to work with Jas after lunch. I guess the both of us were tired of the project that we left 2 hours earlier (ok, maybe it was just me) than what we had intended to.

Met Rad after that, from where we headed to TM from school. Okay, maybe technically from my home. So anyways, after what it seems to be a gazillion years, I ate at LJS. Saw Anand there with his gf. Fast forward. We left the place at like 6+ I was supposed to meet YL and Jason at 9, and I didn't wanna go home. So on the bus to Eunos MRT, I decided to drop by the Book Sale at the Expo at where Sarah works. I haven't talked to her for a few days and yet so much stuff has been happening. Heh. And Faisal will never stop with the blonde jokes but I've kinda gotten used to it.

So 1.5 hours later, I set off to meet the both of them to have dinner/supper at Simpang Bedok. We talked bout stuff, serious and nonsensical. Amazing how word travels fast. Oh well, if it's between my good friend's, it doesn't really matter. So yeah, we decided to head to YL's, which is like a 15mins walk from where we were. There's actually a small kinda nice part around Tanah Merah MRT but it's like in the middle of nowhere. I find YL's condo pool nice, or maybe it appeared to be since it was already quite late into the night. Anyways, we went up to his place to 'kpo' around before we left at around midnight so that we wouldn't miss the last bus.

Today

Supposedly gym-ing at 8, but someone couldn't wake up on time. In the end, we only started at like 9+ After that session, I felt more energetic. Headed to CS for lunch. I ate BAN MIAN (yes Sam, BAN MIAN) But of course this BAN MIAN contained no pork, so you can still consider getting me Ba Kwa. HAH. An hour's of sleep later and I've been facing the computer screen doing the project report. Oh, and Sadaam Hussein has been executed. Couldn't even give him till the end of the year or somethin. And they actually showed a video leading to the actual hanging. Sheesh.

So, the year's gonna come to an end in less than 24 hours. 2006. What a year it has been. Full of extreme ups and downs. Yet, it wouldn't have been possible without the people around me, the people who have left major footprints in this 2006 journey of mine.

The 8 of Us. My sanctuary away from all things related to school. The drinks. The stupid games. The laughter.

'Lepak Buddies'. We can just call each other like 1 hr before and we'll be there. The late hours talking bout our problems, life. Nights have a new meaning for me now.

2A06(half of them actually). They make tutorials less of a dread than they already are.

J.D. The realisation suddenly dawned on me that we've only REALLY gone out together, like one-on-one, only once, yet there's somethin' that always clicks. All in all, my A.S.S =p

Rad. Even though we got closer after barely 3 months, it's as if I've known you longer. And with the recent sh*t I'd to go through, thanks for the emotional support.

YL. For the occasional window shopping/dinner. My brother. HAHA.

Kris. For opening my eyes to the world out there, even from the other end of the globe.

Jhon. For encouraging me to be the best I can be.

And the rest of my friends who have shown their support and concern, making this year bearable =)

2006-12-28T00:45:00.000-08:00

Events that I forgot to mention:

Dec 25 - 'Godfather of Soul', James Brown passes on. The man behind that famous "I feel good, I knew that I would.. So good.. So good.. 'Cos I got you.. Whoo!" song.

R.I.P (1933-2006)

Dec 26 -It was just 2 years ago that the Tsunami struck parts of Asia, yet I still remember where I was when I heard the news. Thousands killed. The loss. The pain. May their souls rest in peace.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What did I do today. Oh yes, I woke up at 11 and stopped by school. Took a bus down to Bedok to meet Rad. Seriously, there are more 'donation-seekers' around. Okay, I know this is the season for giving but people wanna enjoy their time outside. I ignored the guy who was asking for a donation. He was like "Ni ke yi jiang hua yi mah?" I already shook my head and yet he still continued to rant on in Mandarin. And I thought body gesture was a universal language. Adding on, if I didn't look like a Chinese, I'd have probably been approached by those Malay boys. And hanging out with Rad doesn't help much too. AHAHAHAHA.

So yeah, we proceeded to Far East Plaza. I think it's been a looooooong time since I've been there. Which reminds me, I haven't gotten my gold-plated black suspenders. Shucks. Had lunch at Ramen Ten. Service - 8.5. Food - 7.0. Ambience - 6.0 (only cos' they were playing Top 40 Hits)

Wisma Atria-ed. Sales everywhere (well, almost)

Shaw House-d for a drink. Good place to 'mrajuk' =X

Off to Bugis Junction. Someone just had to go to Dorothy Perkins. Well the good thing was I finally bought something(s) I liked. Hah.

By the time I reached home, I was in time for Taboo on Central. I keep forgetting it's on cos' I'll be watching Project Runway.

And Sarah's finally back =)

2006-12-27T02:37:00.000-08:00

Spent X'mas night at Kev's. I can't help it if I really do suck at art =\ Saw 3 was like.. I can't believe people would actually pay to watch this kinda movies. Maybe it's just me. Oh well. Cards. Sucked at 'Bluff-ing'. Only turned it at like 5+ and had to get up at 8+ I didn't know the pre-dozing off could be so somewhat entertaining. HAH.

-discussion bout FOI goes on for like 45mins-

Ironically, I couldn't get to sleep once I reached home considering how little sleep I got for the previous day. I only slept for like a total of 3 hours in the afternoon. Not that shabby I guess. And on that cold rainy day, I stepped into school twice. Shucks, which reminds me, my matric card is still at SAA. I need to borrow the Investments book, again. It kinda gets irritating when you know you've got things to do, yet you can't start on them cos' to get things started, you've to wait for others to finish their work. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

So since the rain has deterred me from having my supper at Simpang Bedok, I've been reading up on birth order on the net, how it affects personality and stuff. I kinda find it interesting, even though I can't still seem to figure out whether I'd be categorized under the firstborn or the lastborn. Poles apart to say the least. Geez, I miss Sociology classes =(

Sometimes even as human beings ourselves, we can't comprehend why our conterparts do the things they do.
Reasons - influenced by the mind, or the heart?

2006-12-25T18:36:00.000-08:00

So it's X'mas, supposedly all jovial and all. This year's kinda different from other years. Stupid emotions got me all hung up with the 'no mood' to step out of the house, with the rain making it all worse. But I guess I've to start getting out, like starting from now.

Got out in the middle of the night with my bro. Starbucks coffee. Ruffles. Chatted at the void deck. X'mas bonding eh? Lols.

You know, I find it ironic that a bf can get jealous over me. Not the first time it's happened. Little boys with insecurities. With balls the size of theirs, who needs men eh?

2006-12-23T02:00:00.000-08:00

This week has been one helluva rollercoaster ride.

Nevertheless, thanks to everyone for the support, concern and advice =) I just wished I'd the 'heart' to go for the chalet today. Oh well.

Dinner with Su Ling at Phin's on Wednesday. We actually mixed up the meeting places =\ Literally had a 'ball' over the SMS conversation. Lols.

Had make-up CMA tutorial on Thursday. When we sat down in class, Tancy was like, "You just broke up?" and I was like "Kind of?" I don't know if it was cos I cut my hair or my emotions could be read on my face literally. Met Rad for awhile, and then spent the rest of my time at SWCC, and no, I wasn't getting counselled. I just had a looooooong chat with the staff over there, bout holidays, family, guys, education etc. Headed down to Bedok Interchange to meet Casey. The bus ride there was really deja vu for me. Sigh. Anyhows, we went to MS, had dinner at some Thai restaurant and just simply caught up with each other.

Today I just wanted to be alone, and I actually came up with an 'Emo List' on my iTunes. I guess things are slightly better, though they'll never be the same again but I'll be contented for now considering the dream I had the previous night was bad. Real bad. And I finally started on the FOI theory *phew*

2006-12-22T16:48:00.000-08:00

1) Unwillingness to take risks,
2) Yet possessing super-big egos
3) Not practicing what they preach (No Action, Talk Only)
4) Inability to view things from a broad perspective
5) Unflattering sense of style
6) Lack of respect for women
7) 'Direction-less' in life
8) Acting as if they will never be wrong,
9) And that they know everything

and finally,

10) Full of s*it and lies.

9 10 Reasons Why I Wouldn't End Up With A Typical M.G

(or anyone who comes close to the above bill)

2006-12-21T17:31:00.000-08:00

When I'm with people, they see the usual me; the smiles, the laughter. Yet when I'm all alone now, I'm just a girl with broken wings, with no more tears to shed.

Do all these happenings occur for a reason? What does God have install for us? Has each of our destiny been pre-written, and do we have a choice on how we live our lives? Are we the engineers of our destiny?

It's ironic how a moment of joy can turn into a painful one in just a split second.

-Knockin' On Heaven's Door-

2006-12-19T21:43:00.000-08:00

I got my N7390. A lil' persuasion and pouting goes a long way. Waha.

Got my hair cut finally at Kimage.

Recieved my CDs all the way from the Land of Smiles.

Free dinner courtesy of Monisha.

Yesssa! Back to my ol' self though i lost my ring when i went wakeboarding on Monday =(

Someone get me a new one. Waha.

2006-12-17T21:09:00.000-08:00

And yes, I'm back from Malaysia, Port Dickson to be exact. Can't wait for Monday to be over =\

2006-12-14T23:15:00.000-08:00

Sunday and Monday were like the lowest days in my life. Period. Most of you won't know what it is, only those 'lucky' few of you. 3 to be exact. Nevertheless, those who showed care and concern despite not knowing the exact reason, thanks as well =)

I hope I'd be able to face the adversities which will come charging at me. It sucks to be faced with sucha prob when it's your mid-sem week, which evidently I think I screwed it up. F*ck.

What else is there? *ponders*

'Heroes' and 'Prison Break' will only be back next year. I don't know when the next episode of 'Supernatural' will be aired. THERE'S NO SHOW TO LOOK FOWARD TO. Ok, so maybe there's still video streaming. I haven't been following up on 'Sam Has 7 Friends' on youtube.com, and Craig Ferguson drives me nuts.

Projects. 2 academic projects. I think it's safe to say that my CDS project is done? Seriously, before we could even start on research, one of us says that he has done the project and all it needs is some touching up. Is that like good or bad? Good cos' of course we don't have to slug ourselves out. Bad cos' the rest of us won't have a rat's ass on what the project is bout'. And there's still the individual component to the project. FOI project. Did 2/3 of the calculations with Jas after the IF paper. Hopefully, the guys will do their respective jobs =
Went to VivoCity with that 'younger-than-me' kakak. I seriously needed to get out (as in really out there), away from all the fiasco in my mind. Thanks eh, like 'no-sarcasm-intended' thanks =) Anyways, the good deed was repaid. Hah.

To the dentist in the morning. My wisdom tooth(s) is coming out! Dear God, please make there no need for an extraction =
Watched this 'documentary' on Connor Clapton, yeah the son of Eric Clapton. Kinda sad when your son has to pass on at sucha young age due to a freak accident. It's been 15 years. He would have been 19 today, and yet 'Tears In Heaven' is still an inspiration to people all around. Really a heart-wrenching song if you really listen to it.

2006-12-10T14:41:00.000-08:00

If I were to fly without my wings,
would you just let me go,
and utter those 3 words, "I love you"?

lae kong mee tee suk wan neung, chan ja kaem kaeng

teung mae mai roo dtong naan.. suk tao rai

2006-12-08T21:42:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates. Have been busy with school most of the time.

So yeah, the interview's over and overall, I think it went well. I didn't know it would be graded on the spot. A B+ ain't that shabby eh? School work. Club project. Driving lessons. That's basically it.

I really needed to take time outside, out of school. Thanks Rad =)

I'm not ready to face reality =\

2006-12-03T11:00:00.000-08:00

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy to pick up.The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men. Men are like a fine wine.They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the sh*t out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Was sent to me via e-mail from mum. I found it quite meaningful. Well then, interview tommorow. Bless me.

2006-12-02T03:57:00.000-08:00

I haven't been blogging quite some time. Why? Ask Sam =X

So what have I been up to these days? Driving lessons. I finally got out to the road and what a feelin'. Starbucks with YL and DD on Wednesday, following day with YL, Sam and his gf. The Peppermint Frappuchino is like *thumbs up*

Had 'tea' with Neh. Bumped into 'short fart' a.k.a M.B. Waha. Okay, that's evil, but yeah. I wanted to pretend not to see him but he smsed me like 2 hours later. Please be glad to know I didn't reply. Lols.

Met Sarah at 9+ Had our lil' dinner at one of the void decks. Went to meet one of her friends, Raihan at Al-Kader's. We talked bout all the lil' stupid stuff. I think we sat there for like 4 hours. Towards the last hour was damn funny lah, talking bout 'tau-geh'. I tell you, I'll never look at it the same again =\

2006-11-28T01:09:00.000-08:00

I'd to wake up earlier today even though I didn't exactly have a good night's sleep (kept tossing and turning). It must be due to the fact that I've been sleeping till early afternoon over the weekends. I don't know why I've been tired these few days. Mmmmmm.

So anyways, got a lift from dad to school. Met Julie to give her birthday present =)

Went for FOI lecture. JM came up to me just before the lecture started, and yah, whatever will be, will be. Straight after that was the Business Writing test. I didn't exactly know what to write so I just came up with the best I could within 1/2 hour. And I don't know if getting chosen to be the interviewee is a good thing. Imagine having to stress over the weekends thinking what questions they'd ask. On the other hand, the interviewers would have to hand in a report the next day. So I guess I would have to prefer the former?

Had lunch with Sam & YL. Bitches =X

Just a freakin' 20 mins for lunch, where we then had to a 3hour lesson for Comm Skills. OMG. I still can't believe me + the rest of the class could actually sit through that dull lesson for that long. The mock interviews in the last hour was funny, especially the very first one, courtesy of Mr.Brown. Speakin' of which, I think I've gotten used to getting mocked by the guys (if that's the appropriate word). Just have to take things lightly. If you can't beat them, join them. HAH.

Anyways, after that LONG lesson was CMA tutorial. The tutor apparently agreed to release the class like 45 mins earlier since the tutorial work was kinda short but noooooooooo. He had to stretch till 10 mins before 6. And it seems I've to skip FOI make-up tutorial. Crap.

An hour long World Issues lecture, which began with a Michael Jackson song -_-'' (though it was kinda appropriate for the subject to be discussed later on) And there was this commercial bout' the 3R's and there was this famous person in it. Omg. She was being sucha bitch while 'educating' us bout the importance of it. Geez.

Dad picked me up from school and we went home.

Watched some televsion before I unintentionally slept on the couch =\ Today's episode of "Wanna Come In?" was hysterical that I found myself laughing alone in front of the TV. And they actually got into their dates' homes. Kudos.

I've been stuck at FOI tutorial for 3 hours before I gave up. At least I got half done.

And that's how a 9-7 school day with merely an hour break turned out. Please no more such days........

I'm so looking forward to Friday late afternoon. Just need somethin' to get away from everythin' and anythin' that reminds me of school.

2006-11-23T00:59:00.000-08:00

I didn't have to go to school today, but eventually I had to cos LG uncovered some errors in my financial documents. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Nevertheless, went over to school and yeah, had an hour's talk with her and her colleague. I didn't know race and religion would not be such a sensitive topic to talk bout'. Well, at least it gives me a kinda altered perspective of viewing things.

So I, stupidly, forgot to bring a book which I essentially needed to clear the documents, so I made my way home. I bumped into Penny on the way, so I made her tag along. Hehe. Oooo, and she mentioned the thingy I'd been (apparently) been talking bout. It this bracelet, yet it's linked to a ring. I finally found out what it's called; a slave bracelet. Okay, the name itself sounds degrading, but I think it's cool ok.

I kinda saw a few at XCraft at TM, and at RastaMania's at PS. Maybe it's bout' time i visited these outlets again. Worse comes to worse, I'll get it online. HAH.

Anyways, I packed my lunch to school. I'd intended to study in the Club Room, but the CSC was makin' so much noise that I gave up and went back home, where I just plonked onto bed. I don't think I've doing anythin' constructive today, so I hope I'll get some work done (technically) today.

Ooooo, I'm considering taking up calligraphy. Hehe.

2006-11-22T01:20:00.000-08:00

I had tutorial at 9 and I only woke up at 8:30. Thank God, school's like damn near. I heard from Brown that his cab fare amounts to $10 each time he's late, and if you what kind of schedule he has, he's probably going broke. Hah.

Ooooo, while me and Brown were waiting for CDS tutorial, Zoe was playing this game in the computer lab; Isketch. It's damn cool I tell you. It's like 'Pictionary' but you play it worldwide.

World Issues tutorial this week was boring.

Club stuff till 6-ish. Luckily Samantha was there to talk things through with me.

Met Xian. The chicken cutlet really tasted different. Thou shalt refrain from that for some time. Have never actually walked to the area leading to Bedok Reservoir, that was until just now. I didn't know it could be quite refreshing.

Watched Supernatural and took an hour and a half nap. Have been taking such naps these past few days, yet it kinda energizes me for the rest of the night.

2006-11-21T00:58:00.000-08:00

Monday is always the day I least look forward. Cos for one, it IS the start of the school week a.k.a. Monday blues and two, it is a full day in school. I've been stressing bout work. I even made a list of what's there to complete by the end of the week. In so much desperation for a list.

Have you ever had the fear of losing someone even though there's no apparent reason for it?

And I finally watched Episode 8 of 'Heroes'.

At the end of the day, there are 2 things that never fail to liven up my spirits; alternative music and friends.

"Ahzeemahder Bin Banana Glah".

Like, thanks?

=\

2006-11-19T23:31:00.000-08:00

God, I feel so much better compared to the last 2 days. Fever + Cough + Sore Throat + Flu. I think this is the worst I've been since a looooooong time ago. An underlying factor to why I'd been this bad is probably cos my mum wasn't here to nag at me to take my medicine, get my ass out of bed, and of course cook healthy food. I've been eating fast food and instant noodles, which a sick person isn't suppose to eat in the first place. But hey, my parents came back in the afternoon and I'm feeling so much better. I don't know what it is but I'm glad they're back (though the silence for the 2 days wasn't that bad).

So 2 days on the couch, sleeping and doin' absolutely no work makes me feel agitated. Maybe it was about time I got the rest. At least I got to watch like 4 episodes of 'Heroes'. The show ain't that bad (but it still doesn't make sense to me).

2006-11-17T00:28:00.000-08:00

My eyes are like so barely open right now, I don't know if it's due to the fact that I'm physically drained, or that I'm just sick. The sore throat. I didn't know it could be this bad.

I woke up in the afternoon. People shouldn't sms in the morning unless it's absolutely necessary. So I made my way to Harbourfront after some nagging from my mum to take some medicine before I went out. 2 things grabbed my attention on my way there.

Numero Uno:

I'm not exactly sure if they can be classified under the 'Mats & Minahs' category but they seemed to be going for some picnic or somethin'. The way they presented themselves in public (especially one of the girls who seemed to believe that the train belonged to her), in my mind I'm like "Do I really belong to the same ethnic group as them?". Sometimes I worry for the society, and I wonder what will become of them 10 years down the road. The way they are behaving now, it's as if they don't give a bollocks on what lies ahead of them. I think they were overrating the phrase,"Live each day as it comes".

Numero Deux:

Whilst waiting for the train to Harbourfront Station, there was this young couple. The girl was probably 14, while the guy was a few years older. The guy looks like the typical 'looks nerdy but trying to act cool' kinda guy. His oval spectacles. His dyed styled up hair. His polo tee+baggy jeans+sneakers. Ear piece in one ear. You'd think he'd be a decent guy when he's with his girlfriend. But no. He was running his hand along his girl's body. Not once. Not twice. But NUMEROUS times. In my mind I was like, "For goodness sake, go get a room. Geez". I guess he was sexually deprived or as I would like to call it 'geram'.

Public displays of affection. It's fine as long as the couple knows that there ARE other people around them, and they don't overdo it. Even during group outings when there is a couple in it, one should refrain from P.D.A. It's like, "Look, we know you are a couple but you don't have to offer us free 'porn' just cause we're you're friends".

"Love at first sight" to me doesn't exist.

So anyways, I was like an hour late. Me and Neh first had lunch at Yoshinoya's (as usual). Seriously, WHY IS THERE NO SINGLE KFC's IN THE WHOLE DAMN MALL?! Okay, I apologize for that, but yeah, someone please answer me. Have I ever mentioned before that VivoCity isn't exactly sucha great place to shop at. Slack around, eating at the variety of dining areas. Yes. But shopping? I'll think twice.

Oh yah, CANDY EMPIRE. Seriously lotsa minty chocolates. I was actually supposed to stop her from buying any but eventully we took some home =X And did you know there's Mint M&Ms? And at chocolate factory there's Chocolate Mint Jam. OMG. But at a kinda steep price for somethin' you'd finish in less than 3 days. From then on, everythin' green was mint to us =
Ooooo, and there was this kinda book fair on board a ship which is pretty cool. But it was kinda warm inside. I think people were streaming in just for the sake of entering a huge ship. Hah.

We headed home by taking the MRT from Harbourfront to Hougang, and then taking a bus service 27 to Tampines, just cause we were both too lazy to get our asses of after just one stop.

So that's how my day went.

My parents are leaving for Malaysia on Friday morning, which leaves me on my own at home until Sunday afternoon. Why did I not follow? For one thing, I won't wanna be caught in the middle of my parents' bickering, and two, I'm kinda behind my work. I haven't even had time to watch the new episodes of 'Supernatural' and 'Prison Break'. Great, just great.

2006-11-16T00:27:00.000-08:00

It just turned Thursday today, yet quite some things have happened since I last wrote.

Wait, I just remembered I learnt a new word like a few days back; Alpha man. In layman's terms, it's simply a manly man. Don't ask me what a manly man is. Lols.

And I'm kinda hooked to Paris Hilton's "Nothing In This World". Yes, she's bimbotic and all that, but I can't seem to get the song outta my head.

So anyways, later on the night of Monday, I received quite an interesting e-mail. An e-mail from HIM to be precise (no prizes for guessing who 'HIM' is). It's a long story, but in short, it's the first time a guy has ever confessed that he had(has) feelings for me. All along I thought I was the one leading him on, but in fact he thought HE was the one leading me on. That's why it's always good to wait for the other party to talk. Hah. So yah, I actually told him I didn't have any feelings for him (don't laugh ok). FYI, the e-mail wasn't written for this topic.

Bla Bla. I think I actually saw him outside the library the next day, but I just made my way to my intended destination. Oh yah, I spilled 3 cups of Soya Bean Milk at the Design Canteen during lunch =
Had a meeting with the DD on Wednesday afternoon. Kinda inspirational for an hour talk. Mmmm. Got ready for 'Gemilang'. So we were supposed to go through a technical run with the Drama peeps but they didn't turn up, so I guess we did our own thing? I just hope none of the pics nor video gets posted online or somethin'.

I missed Project Runway. Geez. But I'd fun fooling around and getting to know the rest of the people from the other sub-groups better. So yeah, missing one episode won't kill me I guess.

Ooooo, my dad's friends from the mosque were coming over to our house for lunch or somethin, and my mum was like telling me,"If you're gonna wear that, you'd better leave before they come. If not, you'll give your dad a bad impression".

I was wearing a denim skirt.

In my mind I was like,"Please let me not get hitched to a true blue M____".

Even my mum is feeling the pressure.

2006-11-13T20:27:00.000-08:00

I'm just tired, putting up a fake front.

I'm like supposed to be this jovial person every day, even when I'm not in the best of moods. And when I'm not in a good mood, the slightest things piss me off even more.

"If you want somethin' to be done well, do it yourself".

And when I make it obvious to you that I don't want to talk bout somethin', don't go around forcing it out of me. It can get irritating to the point that I won't mind slitting your throat.

"Wake up, stupid. It's really nothing. OMG".

I feel like a hypocrite to myself.

"Oooooo, isn't it surprising that I am a Malay? How long have you actually lived in Singapore to not know that there are such things as inter-racial marriages?"

It's one thing to get attention, but when you've been hearing it for like forever, it's like I should get a tattoo on my forehead stating what's my ethnicity.

Random thoughts and sayings. I'm not depressed, I'm just pissed when people are so narrow-minded.

2008. Please let it be a reality.

2006-11-11T22:28:00.000-08:00

I don't even know how to begin typing this entry.

I mean it's like everythin' was going well, the visiting and all, then suddenly...

*pauses for 15 minutes*

Fuck, just grab me a chilled Martini.

2006-11-11T00:40:00.000-08:00

You know you're tired when you take an hour nap in the middle of the evening.

It's kinda draining to be in school from 9-6, and rather 'slacky' when you don't have to go to school for 2 days of the week. Oh well.

Had lunch with the bunch of guys at KFC's. I really need to brush up on the more 'chim' Mandarin. It is such a disadvantage. HAH.

Bla bla bla. Nap-ped.

Met FX at 9 to pass him some cash and talked for some time.

I realise I've been spending much time at the void deck on the phone. It suddenly just became a habit of mine.

Thou shalt not lead anyone on.

And is there really such a thing as best friends between a guy and a girl? Suddenly I'm beginning to question such an existence just cause' someone brought it up and thought it was utter nonsense. Lols. Eh, Socks?

As the International Finance lecturer/tutor says, "There's no such thing as the best".

2006-11-10T00:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the emotional wreck I seemed to be in the previous entry.

I'm feelin' a lil' better now. Not that too stressed up with stuff. My mind is kinda at ease.

I woke up in the afternoon today. My mum had wanted to go to VivoCity, but it was kinda late for that so I think it's being put off till next week.

Instead, we went to CDC to book my practical lessons. Yup, I'm back to taking lessons at CDC instead of taking private lessons. I don't know why my mum insists on me taking school lessons when it's more expensive. Oh well. At least I'll get my license at a quicker rate. Hopefully.

That's bout it for the day actually. I'm looking forward to the December break even though school just started like 3 weeks ago.

2006-11-08T11:41:00.000-08:00

Lemme see.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Mmmmm, you, yah you. Fuck you.

Oh yah, fuck you as well =)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday was sucha busy day. Lessons from 9-4, followed by settling the club's finances till 7+ Nadi meeting till 8+

Walked Asy home, joked around. But behind it all is misery on my part. My issues.

Called FX out, finally talking to someone emotionally available and understands me. I've nothin to explain to him cos he just gets it.

2 people on bad terms. I can't even comprehend what the issue was in the first place. Sometimes I wonder what your friendship was based on. It's dumb okay. Sucha small thing blown up into larger proportions. I don't even know what to say. I don't even know why I'm bothered bout' it. Maybe I should have stayed away from the very start. Seriously.

I'd to 'shoo' FX away cos I got a call from my cousin. Had to talk bout stuff.

After I was done with her, I'd to another consultation.

My brother was outside too. So I talked to him for a while as well.

By the time I reached home it was 12+ Luckily I don't have school today. If not, I'll be a walking zombie in school.

I don't even know what to do with buses. Literally.

I know you care. I hope you know I care. So I'm gonna do both of us a favour by just cutting you away from my 'film'. For now.

2006-11-06T01:44:00.000-08:00

"Love makes one do the darndest things" - Winter of 2004

Fond memories they were. Kinda immature too. Lols.

During these past few weeks, it seems to me that love is all around. People getting hitched. People in the process of getting hitched.

Then there's the downside of people breaking up, nursing a broken heart.

Stayin' single ain't that bad after all, but of course it's always good to have that feeling that someone is concerned for your welfare.

I'm still confused, despite me and him talking bout "it". "It"? I don't even know how to define "it".

It's somehow like, he knows how the situation will vaguely be. Me going for further studies. Nuff' said. I don't wanna have any kind of emotional attachment to a guy. It'd be heartbreaking for the both of us.

This may sound really bad but I kinda wish that things won't work out between us eventually, in the love department at least. Don't get me wrong. He's a nice guy and we kinda have the same frequency but we're just different.

In lifestyle perhaps.

And a few other stuff.

2006-11-02T15:28:00.000-08:00

Provided By MetroLyrics

2006-11-02T00:07:00.000-08:00

Met Muni at 11 to return her psychology textbook (and no, it's not my new CDS). She was quite happy that she'd a new handphone that she had to show it off to me. Lols!

So off to school to settle administrative and financial stuff before heading out to meet Julie to pass her the hard drive. I just hope i get it back in its original condition. Heh. Plus I got a bump on my head when knocking into the noticeboard (don't ask).

Anyways, while she went off to scour for a computer lab, I went off to meet Ahmad. Initially he'd promised to treat me to a Starbucks drink cos' of a favour I did for him, but I kinda coaxed him into having lunch at Pizza Hut. 2 lunch sets, 8 pieces of drumlets and a Hawaiian personal pan pizza later, we headed off to VivoCity. Oh, and it was his first time travelling along the NEL so kinda 'sua ku' on his part. Heh.

We decided to catch a movie at the new cinema so after much discussion, we decided to watch 'The Prestige' since there weren't any comedies availabe (kinda pathetic). The theatre's kinda small and comfy. Couple seats all round and it was freezing cold. And sharing a tub of ice cream isn't exactly the smartest thing to do. Haha.

Walked around VivoCity, accidentally ending up at HarbourFront Mall. Besides the size and the availability of some outlets not available else where in SG, we both declared that VivoCity isn't much of a difference compared to the other shopping malls =
We walked to my home and chatted for a while at the void deck before he took a cab home.

It was a tiring day that I took a nap on the couch before I woke up to watch Project Runway. Needless to say, it was an interesting day =)

I don't exactly know what I'm doing. It has been talked bout, but action speaks louder than words. I don't wanna give up what I've been after all this while.

2006-11-01T01:46:00.000-08:00

FOI tutorial in the morning was fine, where a bunch of us crashed the Int.Finance lecture which is actually allocated for BSG students. I don't think they expected quite a large turnout in the LT (all thanks to A&F students). Nevertheless, don't think the bunch of us will stop attending BSG's timeslot since the reason we're crashing in the first place is that so we need not attend school on Wednesday.

Had lunch at the Design Canteen. Okay, not exactly. We got out food from there but ate out at the benches outside the LT. So the 5 of us (Me, Brown, Jas, Loretta and Zoe) had this interesting talk on considerably taboo subjects, which would be sex and alcohol. Jas was like oblivious to everythin' we were talking bout'. I wonder if we're doin' her good by 'educating' her. Lols.

Anyways after lunch, me and Brown went off for our World Issues tutorial (we're in the same tutorial class). Our tutor's Mr.Jerome, which I still don't know if it's a good or bad thing cos it kinda seems that he does have pretty high standards bout class participation and stuff. So like normal first CDS tutorials, we had to do this ice breaker. As I walked to the front, Brown was talking to this guy. Upon closer look, he looked kinda familliar, so..

Me: Eh? Aren't you Andre?
Him: Yeah. How did you know?
Me: You're Ching Lam's boyfriend right?
Him: Yeah, how do you know her?
Me: I'm her friend. We used to be classmates in secondary school.

That's how the conversation kinda went. It's kinda surreal, to me at least, cos it's like I've seen him in pictures but have never seen him in flesh, you know that kinda thing. And apparently, Chingx already knows that I'm his new classmate. Haha.

I'd 3 hours before the SC meeting started, so I kinda occupied myself with admin work and a 1.5 hour phone conversation.

*skipping details of meeting*

The meeting only ended at 8. Upon climbing down the stairs, I bumped into Ahmad & Haikal. They'd just finished their jog around Bedok Reservoir (they'd earlier asked me if I was available for badminton, which I was obviously not dressed up for). Walked with them out of school. The SC gang was at the bridge when we were on our way there. It was like so wrong cos it seemed as though I'd 2 bodyguards on each flank, and JM and Shafi had to exclaim such questions. My 'water face' literally dropped there and then.

I took an hour's nap cos I was really tired. Woke up to read through FOI and contribute to the online Comm Skills thingy. Less subjects, yet I find myself busy, probably busier than last semester.

2006-10-30T23:33:00.000-08:00

I never meant to hurt you, really. That'll be the last thing that I'd ever want to do. I could no longer tolerate it. It was killing me that I couldn't tell you things. Last night, I reached the edge.

I should have just let it eat the insides of me. I was just being selfish. I'm sorry.

Apologies for letting a depressing entry be the start of the first entry of my newly-borned blog. Don't link this blog. Just wanna let it be some kinda private blog.

So anyways, only managed to get 5 hours of sleep the previous night. I'd some thingy to present to the tutor and a group of classmates for Comm Skills. Waiting outside the room awaiting our time, my heart was just thumping. Brown had done the presentation before that and he said he did a crappy job. Ok, maybe it's normal for him to screw things up. Lols.

I can't believe I was that nervous cos' we're not exactly graded on the 'presentation'. But luckily for me, all went well. Fortunately I knew all there was for OSIP (since I'm planning for it) and the personality tests (did DISC profiling back in Sec 3). So you could say I just crapped my way through. I still feel a sense of achievement =)

Monday's lessons are always till 7. I sure have got some getting used to.