Designer: manikka
Resources: 1 2 3 4 5 6

A collection of teddy bears,
All neatly lined up.

There are those who have withstood the test of time;
They are the vintage ones.
No matter how long you've had them,
You still have this unexplainable affinity with them.

But one day,
One has a lil' mishap;
Your 'Tatty Bear'.

You try to mend it,
But it gets into a worse state,
A worse state as before.

So what do you do?
You put it aside,
At wits end.
You go ahead playing with your other vintage ones,
Your new teddy bears.

Yet, from time to time,
You wonder bout' your 'Tatty Bear'.
Not that the other vintage and new ones aren't as cuddly,
Or not as lovable as it.

You just miss it.

Years pass,
You chance upon your 'Tatty Bear'.
The same old one you put aside,
Still tattered and torn.

You pick it up,
With needle and thread,
And start to mend it.

With each stitch woven in,
You give yourself a smile,
Recollecting the times.

And when you're finally done,
You give it a lil' dust off,
And place it back to where it was.

Initially, you spend more time,
Playing with your newly-mended 'Tatty Bear',
Cos' it'd undoubtedly been loss time.

But you know that without the others,
The other teddy bears,
Playtime would never have been fun.

Of an enkindle or two later,
of putting pressing matters aside,

I feel liberated, for now at least.

And from now onwards, I should start relishing the lil' significant breaks in life.
Sometimes life gets too hectic that one forgets to take a step back, and just observe from the sidelines.

If only I'd be able to take it into mind.
I'd probably need someone to just smack me when I get too absorbed.

So this past week has been a whirlwind so to speak.

Emotions all over, from all directions. Changes in priorities.

Tuesday (or technically Wednesday morning) was the truly the 1st time I'd considered to just stay. Having thoughts put into your mind in the middle of the night is not such a good thing, especially when it makes so much sense at that point of time. But, it took me less than 2 days to revert back to my initial decision, which was to go. And yes, I'm cut on going after mum kinda drilled kinda assertive points into me. The one thing my mum is really good at is putting oneself back on track. I don't know how she does it, but at this point of time where I may be at the crossroads, she pulls me back to reality.

So to bolz, for that lengthy talk which wasted all your saliva (though you already waste your saliva on your late night food cravings), I'm sorry =\

My house IS looking like a warehouse with all the stuff being brought out of 'God-knows-where'. Nevertheless, the house finally has a new TV. All 40 inches of LCD. WOOHOO =D

Together with the 'currently being installed' entertainment system, double WOOHOO!

Mum went for an appointment in the morning and brought back for me 3 tops. It's like I don't have to go shopping anymore to get new clothes. But I guess she's doin' more shopping for me cos' she doesn't want me to be indecently dressed when I go. So erms, thanks mum? Heh. I think she's beginning to understand what I WILL wear. You see, for a period of time she didn't dare buy anythin' for me cos' she was scared that I wouldn't wear what she bought for me. But ever since she got it right, as said by her, "Take the risk lah. If I don't buy now, it'd be gone the next time". That was her answer when I asked her why she dared to get for me a $50 top. Heh.

Next on the list: a new pair of black boots.

Smoking on your cigarettes,
the low tides subtly crashing into the water-break.
Vodka on ice in hand,
you sit poised in your chair
It's the break of dawn.

You see lovers strolling hand in hand,
you see friends goofing around with each other.

But right in front of you,
an empty chair.

It isn't as if you couldn't find companionship.

Truth be told,
you've no lack of friends.

They call to you to share their joy,
they call to you to share their adversities.

You're not lonely,
you just chose to be alone.

When you're alone,
time passes slowly,
but you get to take in every moment,
be it of the past,
or the near future.

Then when it's time to go off,
you put out your last cigarette for the day,
leaving behind smirks and tears.

And be the person you ought to be...

Sitting on the sands of the beach,
where all is peaceful.

The gentle waves drifting in.
Though subtle, they give a sense or serenity,
when all is lost.
A sense of pleasure when you splash.

The light of the sun glistens on your cheeks.
A sense of warmth.

A perfect day.

But when the high tides come in,
you're overwhelmed by the waters,
so much so they no longer give you,
the sense of contentment.

And when the heat of the sun scorches you,
it makes it all too unbearable.

And you hope that the adversities don't last for long.
'Cos you relish for the perfect day.

Always.

Did I just have an emo talk with Sam =\

Notorious B.I.G. Deceased. Drive-by shooting.

Gianni Versace. Deceased. Murdered.

Princess Diana. Deceased. Car crash.

Mother Teresa. Deceased. Poor health.

John Denver. Deceased. Airplane crash.

Michael Hutchence. Deceased. Apparent suicide.

Chris Farley. Deceased. Drug overdose.

Bonnie Hunt. Deceased. MI-185 crash.

Bless their souls.

It has been 10 years since their untimely deaths. I don't know if it's the fact that I was only 9, or it my emotions are lagging but the news on TV reporting their deaths are still fresh in mind. The scene of the Versace residence. The wrecked car in the Paris tunnel. SG's first ever airplane tragedy.

I still remember the 31st day of August, preparing to go out for lunch, yet everyone was glued to the TV set. "Is she really gone?" An hour or two later, the same news was being reported so we reluctantly switched off the TV set.

I still remember having this thought of Princess Di and Mother Teresa being up in the Heavens, with John Denver serenading.

10 years back returned for me some 2 days ago. It was the 'Concert for Diana'. Artistes remembering her, even the civil folk whose lives she had touched. The life she had. I still remember reading the National Enquirer my mum used to purchase. There'd always be articles pertaining to Princess Di. Yet, despite all the media attention, she did good. Real good.

Frankly speaking, I don't know why her death still has an impact on me. Maybe it's cos' the time it happened was so close to a personal tragedy.

1997 come to think bout' it, was really a tough time. For me at least.

With the months ahead, would I cope?

Happy Birthday America.